Elizabeth Naylor
Episode 157

Narrator: Welcome, friends, to another episode of, the Story & Experience Podcast. Join your host, Japhet De Oliveira with his guest today, and discover the moments that shape us, our families and communities.

Japhet De Oliveira: Hey, welcome, friends to another episode of the Story & Experience Podcast. I am actually really delighted that in this kind of foggy morning here we are north of St. Helena in Northern California, and at this guest place, I'm really excited about you being able to hear her voice and her story, because it's pretty fantastic. And about stories, experiences that shaped her life.

If you're new to the podcast, we have 100 questions, and they progressively become more complex, close to 100. But our guest gets to choose where they want to go. So I'm going to ask the first 10, and then I'm going to hand it over to them, and they get to pick between 11 and 100 where they want to go.

Let's begin with the first one. Can I ask you your name and does anybody ever mispronounce it?

Elizabeth Naylor: All the time.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Elizabeth Naylor: My name is Elizabeth. I get referred to as Liz, Betty, Lizzie.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. Eliza.

Elizabeth Naylor: Eliza. But I like Elizabeth.

Japhet De Oliveira: Elizabeth.

Elizabeth Naylor: Yes.

Japhet De Oliveira: Elizabeth it is. Fantastic. Elizabeth, what do you do for work?

Elizabeth Naylor: I do a lot.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Elizabeth Naylor: I am a barn manager at an equestrian farm just north of Calistoga. I take care of over 13 rescue horses.

Japhet De Oliveira: Wow.

Elizabeth Naylor: Or retired show horses.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. And they are beautiful.

Elizabeth Naylor: And they are really beautiful. And they take care of me.

And I am also the executive director of Crush Cancer Napa Valley, which is a foundation that I took over from a wonderful woman named Rayellen Jordan, in October of 2022 after I had been diagnosed with breast cancer in 2021. I went through six months of chemo, 30 rounds of radiation, five surgeries, and I vowed if I got well that I would help make it easier for others going through the same. And now I'm able to do that.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's amazing.

Elizabeth Naylor: Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's amazing. Cancer has become prevalent.

Elizabeth Naylor: Very.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, I think so. I mean, so many people have it.

Elizabeth Naylor: I was in a room last year speaking and the first thing I asked 200 people, I said, "If anyone in this room doesn't know, or hasn't had cancer, raise your hand." No one.

Japhet De Oliveira: Really?

Elizabeth Naylor: No. Everybody knows someone, a family member, a friend or something.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's true. That's true. But you have not only faced it, overcome it, and you're on the way.

Elizabeth Naylor: I'm a thriver.

Japhet De Oliveira: You are.

Elizabeth Naylor: And a survivor. Yes, I am.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's great. Now you have an amazing story as well with, and you just got to tell a little bit of the story. I think people need to hear how it happened for you, how you were taken care of. I'd love people to hear a little bit of insight into that. And there is a movie that we've made about it as well, so we'll have to link it inside the website somewhere.

Elizabeth Naylor: There is. My best friend of 50 years was diagnosed with breast cancer. We met when we were six. We hadn't seen each other in 22 years. I went to Colorado to be with her. And the second night that I was there, for absolutely no reason, at 12:35 in the morning I sat up in bed. I put my hand on my left breast, not my right, my left, and there was no lump, there was no pain, there was nothing. But I woke up the next morning, I knew something was wrong, but I didn't know what. And I flew home a week later, and 10 days later I was diagnosed with left breast cancer.

Japhet De Oliveira: Wow. Okay. Okay.

Elizabeth Naylor: And then, things got real fast.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yes. Real quick, real quick.

Elizabeth Naylor: Yes.

Japhet De Oliveira: But amazing team that took care of you.

Elizabeth Naylor: Dr. Charles Elbowm, Marlene Lennon, and the amazing Dr. Ethan Schramm at the Martin O'Neill Cancer Center, single-handedly saved my life.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, yeah.

Elizabeth Naylor: And I got them here just a month ago. It was a dream of mine to get them back together and do a photo.

Japhet De Oliveira: Wow.

Elizabeth Naylor: And the three of them came here to the barn, and we spent an afternoon together. And well, I cherish it. Cherish that day.

Japhet De Oliveira: Amazing people.

Elizabeth Naylor: Yes.

Japhet De Oliveira: Very excited. I'm glad you're leading this particular non-profit as well. And you do fundraiser dinners for them, and...

Elizabeth Naylor: I do. So by the light of the moon. So during the day I run the barn, and by the light of the moon I run the foundation.

Yes. I'm always fundraising. I'm about to hire a grant writer, which is going to be a big help. And I have to just continue to raise money. Basically what Crush Cancer Napa Valley does is we help patients in Napa County that are currently going through cancer treatment, that maybe can't afford to pay their bills or their rent, or their heat. Or, it doesn't matter what it is. But they come to us, they go to our website, they fill out an application, we respond within 24 hours. And we get them the help they need.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's great. That's great. Super. All right, so with so much going on, what time do you get up in the day?

Elizabeth Naylor: I'm up at six A.M.

Japhet De Oliveira: Six A.M. every day?

Elizabeth Naylor: I never thought in my life I would be so happy to get up at six o'clock in the morning.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. Yeah. And for everybody who's listening, if you can hear that sound of the wind, it's actually, we are right at the barn. There's some other work going on outside. So it's beautiful. It's life.

Well, that's pretty early. That's pretty early. Fantastic. When you get up in the morning, do you have coffee or tea like we're having right now? Or water? What's your first drink of the day?

Elizabeth Naylor: Warm water with lemon.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, yeah.

Elizabeth Naylor: Then immediately a coffee. And then I bundle in the winter like now.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Elizabeth Naylor: And I can't wait to go to the barn. I'm in the barn by 6:15. And I open the doors and I have the most amazing eyes all staring at me because they want breakfast.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, sure. Sure.

Elizabeth Naylor: So I throw hay immediately, I feed grain. And I kiss each one morning and night.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's good.

Elizabeth Naylor: And throughout the day.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, that's good. Elizabeth, where were you born?

Elizabeth Naylor: Great Barrington, Massachusetts.

Japhet De Oliveira: And did you grow up there?

Elizabeth Naylor: Until I was 13.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. So when you were a child, what did you imagine you were going to grow up to be?

Elizabeth Naylor: A veterinarian.

Japhet De Oliveira: Really?

Elizabeth Naylor: Mm-hmm.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh wow.

Elizabeth Naylor: Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. And you didn't pursue that though?

Elizabeth Naylor: I didn't.

Japhet De Oliveira: What did you end up pursuing instead for a while?

Elizabeth Naylor: I got a degree in business. I went to University of Florida. And I started event planning in 1998. I owned my company for almost 25 years.

I did weddings, corporate events. The majority were weddings around the world. And here in Napa Valley.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's fantastic. Do you miss that?

Elizabeth Naylor: Not even a little bit. I don't, no.

Japhet De Oliveira: No, that's good. If people were to describe your personality, would they say you were an introvert or an extrovert? And would you agree?

Elizabeth Naylor: It depends. From the outside looking in, I think most people would say I'm an extrovert. And I am. I share a lot of my life experiences if it will help. So in regard to Crush Cancer, Napa Valley, if it's helpful, I will. And it does help a lot of patients when I say, I do know what you're going through because I went through it. So in that regard, I would say I'm an extrovert. But I'm actually very much an introvert.

I love time by myself. I could walk this property every day with just myself, the cats, the horses, and be very happy. So it depends on when I have to be on, and when I don't.

Japhet De Oliveira: Fair enough. Fair enough. That's good. All right, here's the last one in this section here, it's a leadership question. Are you a backseat driver?

Elizabeth Naylor: With that? I guess, are you asking, am I controlling?

Japhet De Oliveira: Some people may interpret it that way. Yeah. Yeah.

Elizabeth Naylor: No. Now if my friends listen to this, they're all laughing right now.

But I would say no. And the reason I say that is I would say I used to be. But what I've learned later, as we get older, we have control over nothing.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's actually true. That is true.

Elizabeth Naylor: So to try to control anything is really, it just doesn't do you any good. Worry doesn't do you any good. No, I relinquish everything out to the universe.

And I mean, there are certain things. Taking care of the horses, things that they have to have, or controlling... I think that there's different levels, but I would say as a whole, I've relinquished all control in my life. And because of that, I live a very easy, calm, beautiful life.

Japhet De Oliveira: Hey, that's good.

Elizabeth Naylor: Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: Good word for everybody else. All right.

Floor is open now. Where do you want to go between 11 and 100?

Elizabeth Naylor: Why don't we start out with, we'll go low.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Elizabeth Naylor: Let's do 16.

Japhet De Oliveira: 16. All right. Tell us about one of the places you've traveled, and why you want to go back.

Elizabeth Naylor: Maui.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Elizabeth Naylor: And I'm going in, I think 29 days. I go to Maui every year.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, yeah. What makes Maui special?

Elizabeth Naylor: It just feeds my soul. I literally go with two dresses, a bathing suit, sunscreen, and a couple of books. I don't do the tourist thing. I don't do any of that. I sit on the beach and it recharges just every cell in my body.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's great.

Elizabeth Naylor: It's so beautiful and so simple.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. Beautiful. All right, that was 16. Where next? Up or down?

Elizabeth Naylor: Let's go to 24.

Japhet De Oliveira: 24, right. Oh, tell us about a time you were over or underdressed for an occasion.

Elizabeth Naylor: Oh boy. I'm trying to think. Was I ever over or underdressed? I can't really think of one. I always sort of feel like I'm just short of ever being dressed appropriately, but I dress for comfort.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay, that's good.

Elizabeth Naylor: But I don't know.

Japhet De Oliveira: There's a certain level of confidence to dress for comfort all the time.

Elizabeth Naylor: Yes.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yes.

Elizabeth Naylor: I would say maybe in my twenties, the size of the bathing suits I wore, they didn't make my father happy. So maybe I was a bit underdressed by his standards.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Elizabeth Naylor: I will share with you, I think I was 16 and I walked out. My date was waiting with my dad in the living room. And when I walked out, my father said, I don't know, between your bedroom and here, where you lost the other half of that skirt, but you might want to find it because you're not going out that way. So I guess that's about the best I've got.

Japhet De Oliveira: Hey, that's great. That's a good story. All right, where next? That was 24.

Elizabeth Naylor: 39.

Japhet De Oliveira: 39. All right. If you didn't need to sleep, what would you do with all the extra time?

Elizabeth Naylor: Be with the horses.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, yeah.

Elizabeth Naylor: And I don't need to sleep very much. You and I have actually had that conversation.

Japhet De Oliveira: We have. We have.

Elizabeth Naylor: I mean, I know we need to sleep to rest, but yeah, I would be with the horses.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Elizabeth Naylor: And I am.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, I feel the same way as well. Sleep is...

Elizabeth Naylor: Or my daughter. I would spend as much time, but she's in college right now. But those would be the two things.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's good. Beautiful. All right, that was 39, where next?

Elizabeth Naylor: Well, I'm 56.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. All right. All right, let's go there then. Oh, share an activity that makes you lose all track of time.

Elizabeth Naylor: Once again. Again, it would go back to being with Sophia, and spending time with her. I lose all track of time because I just want to be in the moment with her. And then of course, being here, and being with the animals.

There's 13 horses, six rescue dogs, four rescue cats. I have two of my own.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's a lot.

Elizabeth Naylor: Yeah. I rescued a mouse two nights ago. So I have a problem with animals.

Japhet De Oliveira: Clearly. Clearly. Although some would not say it's a problem.

Elizabeth Naylor: It's not a problem. No, it's wonderful.

Japhet De Oliveira: All right, that's great. All right, that was 56.

Elizabeth Naylor: 67.

Japhet De Oliveira: 67, right. Oh, what's the best picture you've ever taken and why?

Elizabeth Naylor: That I have personally taken?

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, yeah.

Elizabeth Naylor: It's probably a baby photo. Actually, it might be that one right there of my daughter in her little pink dress.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Elizabeth Naylor: Yeah, I think.

Japhet De Oliveira: That is beautiful.

Elizabeth Naylor: Any picture that I took of her as a little girl. She looked like a China doll.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. Isn't it interesting, as they get older, you still remember them when they were pretty small, right?

Elizabeth Naylor: Everything.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. My phone sends me those pictures every now and again. I'm like, oh yeah. So true.

Elizabeth Naylor: And it takes you back.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, and I send it to them every time.

Elizabeth Naylor: Yes. As do I. Every time.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. Yeah. That's good. All right, where next?

Elizabeth Naylor: Well, I'm going to go high.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. All right.

Elizabeth Naylor: How about 90?

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. 90.

Elizabeth Naylor: Because you said they get tougher, or?

Japhet De Oliveira: They become...

Elizabeth Naylor: A little more?

Japhet De Oliveira: A bit more open.

Elizabeth Naylor: Oh. I'm a book.

Japhet De Oliveira: All right, all right.

Elizabeth Naylor: I'm open.

Japhet De Oliveira: Here's 90 though. Tell us about how you've overcame a seemingly insurmountable obstacle.

Elizabeth Naylor: By not controlling it.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. Okay. All right.

Elizabeth Naylor: I think, well, I mean in regard to the biggest obstacle of my life was overcoming cancer.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. No kidding.

Elizabeth Naylor: There was fear. There's no way that you wouldn't have fear. But just visualizing what you want, and what you want your outcome to be. But then you have to do the work to get there. You can't just visualize it and then expect it to come to you. You have to work. You have to do the work.

And that's my journey. I can't tell anybody else what to do in their journey. But with my journey, I knew that I was going to beat cancer. I didn't think I was, but I had to make some very big changes in my life that really aren't big changes. But even now, sugar, no sugar. I eat no meat. I do anywhere from 15 to 20,000 steps a day. I do get rest. I stop now. I think we also learn this as we get older. I stop now and I take care of myself. Where I think that in years past, if I was taking care of myself, I felt guilty about it.

Japhet De Oliveira: Interesting. Yeah.

Elizabeth Naylor: I'm a caretaker. But if I don't take care of myself, I'm no good to anyone else. But I always felt guilty about taking care of myself. And now I'll say, I have to stop. I have to eat. Or, I have to stop because I'm going to do this. Where I wouldn't do that before. So I think really that's how I overcame cancer, and decided that I wanted to live.

Japhet De Oliveira: So where did this come from? This like optimism, this positivity, this, I'm going to face something difficult. Because there are people who face difficult things and they just run and hide. They don't want to go to the cancer center. They don't want to address the treatment. Where do you get that strength from?

Elizabeth Naylor: Well, I'm the youngest of 13.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Elizabeth Naylor: I mean, I have 12 amazing siblings, but I have six sisters that, don't get in their way. And I learned from each of them. When I was diagnosed with cancer, my sisters completely stopped their lives and took care of me.

My sister Claire, or my sister Dorothy, or my sister Mary, one of them was here for a treatment. So I was never alone. I think, as the youngest of 13, you just, boy, you have to keep sort of clawing your way and making your way. I can't answer it fully. I just know that there's no other way than to be optimistic, especially in our world right now. You have to continue to be positive. You have to continue to be optimistic for what you want. I just can't think of thinking any other way.

Japhet De Oliveira: It's just your character.

Elizabeth Naylor: I think it is my character.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's great. All right. That was 90. See, it wasn't that hard. It was fantastic. Where next, then?

Elizabeth Naylor: Let's do 99.

Japhet De Oliveira: 99. Oh, all right. What's the most difficult truth that you've ever told?

Elizabeth Naylor: That I was ever told?

Japhet De Oliveira: No. That you've ever told?

Elizabeth Naylor: That I've ever told.

Japhet De Oliveira: What's the most difficult truth that you've ever told?

Elizabeth Naylor: Boy, maybe I shouldn't have picked 99.

Japhet De Oliveira: So let me tell you this. People have three ways to answer it. Some people talk about a difficult truth they've told, like a company, a big organization. Some people have a difficult truth that they've told somebody who works for them, or a family member. And some tell themselves a difficult truth.

Elizabeth Naylor: I think it actually has come to me. It was something fairly recent that happened with someone that was in my life, that unfortunately can no longer be in my life. And I was very, very truthful about it. And explained exactly why she could no longer be in my life.

And it was very difficult to tell her that because I knew that I was going to hurt her. But ultimately it was the right decision. And I haven't wavered on it. I expected over time, I wanted to see by telling her if I missed her being in my life. And I actually, I'm quite relieved. So it wasn't an easy thing. Because you don't want to hurt someone, but you're never going to get anything but the truth from me. And unfortunately, she's no longer a part of my life.

Japhet De Oliveira: Setting boundaries easy for you?

Elizabeth Naylor: If you're diagnosed with cancer, they are. You do set boundaries. And I kind of relate it only in the way that I can because I've never done drugs in my life. I don't know a lot about drugs, but I do know people who have had issues with them. And if they have made the decision to change their life, you have to change everything. You can't hang around with the people that got the drugs for you. You can't hang around with the people that did the drugs with you.

Well, the same thing, I know it sounds strange, but if you've had cancer, you understand. But there are people that you can no longer have in your life. And you have to release. And my life has never felt more fulfilled or more calm since my diagnosis, and my being cured of cancer. My life is so calm every day. From the outside it doesn't look that way because I'm going...

Japhet De Oliveira: Because you're so busy going 100 miles an hour.

Elizabeth Naylor: Yes.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. But in your soul.

Elizabeth Naylor: Very calm every day.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. There are people who go through difficult things like cancer and they don't become softer.

Elizabeth Naylor: But then you become a victim.

Japhet De Oliveira: They become a victim.

Elizabeth Naylor: No. That's one role you'll never see me play. I was never a victim.

No. I have a very difficult time with that because then it looks as though I'm judging someone. They have to get through their journey how they see fit, and they feel that they've been wronged, or that... It happened. Let's fix it.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Elizabeth Naylor: Let's figure out why did it come to us? Let's understand it. And then let's move on.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. It's good. That was 99. So where next, Elizabeth?

Elizabeth Naylor: 20.

Japhet De Oliveira: 20, all right. Oh, tell us about something that you would rate 10 out of 10. Elizabeth says this is 10 out of 10.

Elizabeth Naylor: Oh my goodness. Something that I would think would be a 10 out of 10.

Japhet De Oliveira: And it can't be like a puffer vest that's warm.

Elizabeth Naylor: You just heard.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, I just, I know.

Elizabeth Naylor: It just came to me. It can't be my warm vest. Okay.

A 10 out of 10. Boy, I guess... I'm not really sure because I'm kind of thinking in terms of, I mean, it's constant work in progress but my relationship with my daughter is a 10. To me.

Japhet De Oliveira: It's a 10 out of 10.

Elizabeth Naylor: It is a 10 out of 10, but not all the time. Sometimes, we. But I strive for that. I strive for. So I think that.

Japhet De Oliveira: The best risk you ever took. Having a child. Right?

Elizabeth Naylor: Absolutely. The greatest gift of my life.

Japhet De Oliveira: The greatest gift. Yeah.

Elizabeth Naylor: Yeah. The only other 10 out of 10 is that I got bumped to first class coming back from Dallas last week.

Japhet De Oliveira: Hey, why not?

Elizabeth Naylor: It was pretty great. But really, I think, yeah. I mean, I'd go back to the vest.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay, I'll go with the vest. Hey, that's good. That's good. All right, that was 20. So where next? All right.

Elizabeth Naylor: Let's say, how about 49?

Japhet De Oliveira: 49. What are you currently learning about and why?

Elizabeth Naylor: I'm learning about, every day, about how to take better care of horses. I had to go in yesterday for a mammogram and an ultrasound, and my nurse there, we were chatting and it turns out that she was studying massage and reiki with horses, equines.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh really? Okay.

Elizabeth Naylor: And it's something that I've been fascinated by and she can no longer do it. And so she has all of these books that she's about to bring to me. And I want to learn because this is kind of the senior center for horses and their keepers. And so that I'm going to learn.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Elizabeth Naylor: So I'm constantly learning about equines daily. I have some that colic, I have abscesses in others. I've got... Now we've been putting horses out to pasture recently and they've been having some type of an allergic reaction. So I'm learning about that. So I'm constantly, constantly learning about that. I think as a grand scheme, one of the best parts of life is learning something new every day.

Japhet De Oliveira: Absolutely, absolutely.

Elizabeth Naylor: No matter what, it doesn't matter what it is. But if I put my head on the pillow and I'm like, I got to learn something, I'm never the smartest person in the room, nor do I want to be. But if I can go in and I can pull something away, or take something away from a conversation, and then really learn about it, that's a great day.

Japhet De Oliveira: I do a review of my day every night when I go to bed. And I love that idea that you say, what is it that we're learning new? What have I learned today? Yeah, that's actually pretty good.

Elizabeth Naylor: Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. That's good. Good. All right. 49. So where next?

Elizabeth Naylor: How about 60?

Japhet De Oliveira: 60? All right. Ooh. When in life have you felt most alone?

Elizabeth Naylor: Oh my gosh. You're not alone as a sibling with 13.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, I know. I know.

Elizabeth Naylor: I probably would say it was for a very short time. When I was diagnosed August 3rd, 2021 was probably. But then, yeah. Because...

Japhet De Oliveira: Just in that moment.

Elizabeth Naylor: It's like a bomb went off.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Elizabeth Naylor: And everybody wants to help you, but you don't even know.

Japhet De Oliveira: What.

Elizabeth Naylor: And I had so many people around me, and yet it was probably.

Japhet De Oliveira: That is interesting, isn't it? You could be surrounded by people.

Elizabeth Naylor: I was surrounded

Japhet De Oliveira: Because your mind hasn't settled as to what it is.

Elizabeth Naylor: Oh no. It was literally like a bomb went off. And it was then that I had to reel in. And where do you want to go with this? And what's your outcome? And what do you see? But I would say that, that for me was probably the loneliest time. Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: Thanks for sharing that. Right. Where next?

Elizabeth Naylor: I'm going to do 13, since I'm 13 in my family.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. All right. Oh, this is fantastic. Walk us through the ideal end of your day.

Elizabeth Naylor: Oh my gosh.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Elizabeth Naylor: Everybody's going to get so tired of hearing about horses. I hope not.

Japhet De Oliveira: No.

Elizabeth Naylor: So at six o'clock I go out and I feed the herd. And I could bring the kitties in. And I come in, excuse me, and I feed my kitties and I feed myself. And then I do a little bit of reflection on the day.

I start making a list of what I have to get done the next day. I'm corresponding, I'm doing some things for the foundation. And then at eight o'clock I take my phone and my heated vest, and I walk out to the barn and I turn on a lullaby on my phone, and I walk stall to stall and I kiss every single horse, good night. And I put a blanket on Santana if it's below 45 degrees. And I turn all the lights out and I turn around and I tell all the animals that I love them, and I close the door.

Japhet De Oliveira: It's a good evening.

Elizabeth Naylor: That is the best evening ever.

Japhet De Oliveira: So when you travel, like you were in Texas recently, what happens to your evening then?

Elizabeth Naylor: So some of the stalls are on camera. And so I'll get into bed and I just...

Japhet De Oliveira: Watch.

Elizabeth Naylor: I watch them and see. Some horses will lay down and sleep at night, not all, but some. Frenchy lays down and sleeps. Cody lays down. The minis lay down. And so I just sit, and it's the most beautiful sight to see them. They just had their dinner and now they're off to sleep.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's good. That's good. Good. All right, good. We have time for two more. So where would you like to go with your last two?

Elizabeth Naylor: 93.

Japhet De Oliveira: 93, all right. Oh, paint us a picture of success. Yes.

Elizabeth Naylor: Overcoming cancer.

Japhet De Oliveira: For sure.

Elizabeth Naylor: Living a beautiful, quiet life on a farm. And knowing that your child is happy, healthy, and thriving.

Japhet De Oliveira: Hey, what else could you ask for?

Elizabeth Naylor: I don't need, it's not wealth, it's not any of that.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Elizabeth Naylor: It's simply, we're kind of raised, or I mean, we're thought to believe that you go to school, you go to college, you get a career, you're making money, you're doing all that. You raise a family. But it seems so complex, and yet it's really just so simple. Once you have a child.

Japhet De Oliveira: It changes everything.

Elizabeth Naylor: It changes everything in such a beautiful way. Those glasses that you look through turn to rose colored. And for me, all I have to know is that Sophia is living her best life, that she's kind, that she's thriving, and that's all I need.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. She's incredibly intelligent, smart. Yeah.

Elizabeth Naylor: That's it.

Japhet De Oliveira: You're very blessed. Good, good.

Elizabeth Naylor: I am. Last question.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, last number. Oh my.

Elizabeth Naylor: Well, should I shoot for 100?

Japhet De Oliveira: Sure.

Elizabeth Naylor: Okay. Let's do it.

Japhet De Oliveira: All right, Elizabeth, question 100. Tell us about one question that you don't want me to ask you.

Elizabeth Naylor: What my favorite movie is? No. One question that I wouldn't want you to ask. I'm really such an open book. I mean, if I thought about... Oh, don't ask me how the Golden State Warriors are doing.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. Because they are?

Elizabeth Naylor: They're not doing really well.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Elizabeth Naylor: I love them no matter what. I'm their number one fan.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Elizabeth Naylor: But yeah, don't ask me how they're doing right now.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. Okay.

Elizabeth Naylor: Yeah, I think that would be.

Japhet De Oliveira: That would be the question.

Elizabeth Naylor: That's the other love of my life. Horses are the love of my life.

Japhet De Oliveira: And?

Elizabeth Naylor: And NBA basketball is the love of my life.

Japhet De Oliveira: Hey, that's great. That's great. Elizabeth, it has been a privilege. Thank you for sharing your story and inspiring people. I think that people face difficult things in their life. So I've got to ask you, and this is a bonus question, bonus 100 A, what words of wisdom would you give to somebody who's facing something that seems impossible, and they need to find the strength to find a way forward?

Elizabeth Naylor: First and foremost, put yourself first. And that's not at all being, you have to put yourself first, which is a very difficult thing. I would say more so for women it's a difficult thing. But do put yourself first and ask for help when you need it.

And when you don't, it's okay to tell somebody that you don't.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yes.

Elizabeth Naylor: It's not about hurting someone's feelings. I learned through the process of, I needed time by myself, then there was time I didn't need by myself.

It's okay to tell somebody, thank you for caring and loving me, but right now I got to keep it close to the vest. And then there's other times where folks, when they ask you what you need, tell them what you need. And just to know that it really will get better once the fear and the anxiety of whatever the trauma is. You have to experience that though. You have to experience fear, and you have to all of it. You can't just go through it. It's a facade if you do.

But I think that welcome in every feeling that you have and understand it. Think in terms of, why do I feel the way that I do right now? And what can I do for myself that's going to get me past it and through it? And what's going to make it better? And then you start setting those boundaries and that becomes a part of your everyday life.

It could be as simple as going out for a walk. It could be as simple as changing your diet. It could be as simple as calling a friend, or calling a professional. Don't go through it all alone. But in the parts that you do need to be alone, it's okay.

Japhet De Oliveira: It's okay. Elizabeth, thank you. It was brilliant. Thank you for taking the time.

Elizabeth Naylor: Thanks for having me.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, absolutely. Hey, I want to encourage you to do the same thing. Right now we both have brilliant cups of tea, and having a great conversation. Find a friend, ask them good questions, have a great cup of tea. You will both be transformed by it as we are as well. So God bless everybody, and we'll connect again soon.

Narrator: Thank you for joining us for the Story & Experience podcast. We invite you to read, watch, and submit your story and experience at adventisthealth.org/story. The Story and Experience podcast was brought to you by Adventist Health through the Office of Culture.