Amizetta Clark, MD
Episode 189

Narrator:

Welcome friends to another episode of the Story & Experience Podcast. Join your host, Japhet De Oliveira with his guest today and discover the moments that shape us, our families, and communities.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Hey, welcome friends to another episode of Story & Experience Podcast. If you're brand new to this experience, we have 100 questions. They progressively become more vulnerable closer to 100, and they're about stories and experiences that shape this person, the guest I'm about to introduce you to into the leader that they are today. So I'm going to ask the first 10 and then they get to pick after that. So let me begin with your name. Could you tell us your name and does anybody ever mispronounce it?

Amizetta Clark:

My name is Amizetta Clark and I get mispronounced all the time. People say Amazon, Amaretto a lot.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Oh, Amaretto.

Amizetta Clark:

Which I don't mind.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's okay.

Amizetta Clark:

That was an okay one.

Japhet De Oliveira:

But Amizetta is better.

Amizetta Clark:

Amizetta is better. And it's actually a family name. It's my mother's name and my daughter's name.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Oh, is it really?

Amizetta Clark:

Yes.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Oh, that's beautiful. That's beautiful. So is there any story behind the name?

Amizetta Clark:

I wish I could have a good story for you. So we've tried all the genealogy, you tried to figure out kind of where it originated. We think it's Italian, but we've had a hard time really locating where it came from.

Japhet De Oliveira:

It's beautiful. Amizetta, what do you do for work?

Amizetta Clark:

So I'm at St. Helena, Adventist Health in St. Helena, and I am the medical director of the psychiatric unit here. And so I did my residency in both internal medicine and psychiatry.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Okay, all right. Wow. What drew you into that?

Amizetta Clark:

So my mother's dad was an alcoholic and she had a rough childhood from that standpoint. So I was always kind of drawn to psych, but originally I went into medicine to be a cardiac surgeon and then did a year of surgery with my wife. We couple's match in surgery and then decided that I wanted to go back to psych, so I switched and jumped into internal medicine, because I really liked the ICU so it just drew me and luckily they had a combo at my place and I loved it.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's fantastic. Oh, I'm so happy to hear that. Now, where were you born?

Amizetta Clark:

I was born here in St. Helena.

Japhet De Oliveira:

No, really?

Amizetta Clark:

I was, I'm one of the rare-

Japhet De Oliveira:

You're local. That's great.

Amizetta Clark:

Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira:

So you've been here your entire life pretty much?

Amizetta Clark:

I have. I went away for medical school and all that, but yeah, my whole family's here. I have three older brothers and they all live here and my parents live here.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Oh, wow. I'm in the presence of sacredness.

Amizetta Clark:

I don't know about that, but I loved it here.

Japhet De Oliveira:

How many generations here?

Amizetta Clark:

So just my parents, they moved from Texas and had no idea about wine, but wanted to start a winery and so they came here and started a winery.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Oh, really?

Amizetta Clark:

Yes.

Japhet De Oliveira:

My goodness. Okay. All right, so then growing up here, what did you imagine you were going to grow up to be as a child?

Amizetta Clark:

A winemaker

Japhet De Oliveira:

Really?

Amizetta Clark:

Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Okay.

Amizetta Clark:

Which my brother is. And so all three of my brothers are in my family winery. But I always had this inkling for medicine. I don't know any doctors, I didn't know anyone in medicine, nurses or anything, but I was always kind of interested in it and that's what I did.

Japhet De Oliveira:

What do you find most difficult, most pleasing about medicine for you? That's a bonus question, something more or less [inaudible 00:03:31].

Amizetta Clark:

Yeah, I mean, most difficult I think is probably the case for a lot is the hard conversations with patients and families. In my line with psychiatry, sometimes people are ill and their mind is playing tricks on them and I, they're not ever going to get back to that place that the family feels that is normal, whatever that means for them. And so sometimes having that hard conversation about a new baseline. And same with the patients. For them, they want to get back to where they were before. And sometimes that's possible and sometimes it's not, and that's a hard conversation to have with someone. But the feeling when you connect with someone and you see them get better, I mean, you can't beat that feeling.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yes. Yeah, I can imagine. I can imagine. All right, so now are you an early riser or late night owl?

Amizetta Clark:

Early riser for sure.

Japhet De Oliveira:

What's early for you?

Amizetta Clark:

Normally 3:30 to 4:00 in the morning. And that's really, I have three children. I have a seven-year-old daughter and a five-year-old son and then I have a 20-month-old son. So working out is very important to me. I did sports when I was growing up, and so the activity really keeps me mentally stable. So for me, morning time is my time where I can do that, not being interrupted. So I normally wake up and work out at my house.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Good for you. Good for you. All right. If people were to describe you personality, would they say you're an extrovert or an introvert and would you agree?

Amizetta Clark:

Good question. Can I say I'm like an omnivert?

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yes, you can. Yes you can. Yes you can.

Amizetta Clark:

I prefer to be around my family most of the time and I would prefer not to go to parties and gatherings, but when I go, I seem to be okay there and socialize and enjoy being around people.

Japhet De Oliveira:

It takes a bit of energy or it just-

Amizetta Clark:

Yeah, it does take a little bit of energy for me to socialize, which is funny because it's my job.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah. No, that's fair. That's fair. No, that's really good. That's good. A leadership question here, actually no, first before that, in the morning when you get up, water, tea, coffee? What's the first drink of the day?

Amizetta Clark:

Normally water.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Water, yeah.

Amizetta Clark:

I normally, yeah-

Japhet De Oliveira:

Before you [inaudible 00:05:46].

Amizetta Clark:

I normally drink a bunch of water and then depending, normally when I work out, I'll drink a pre-workout drink or something like that, and then sometimes coffee.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Okay. All right, all right. You've got a routine down.

Amizetta Clark:

Yeah, got the routine.

Japhet De Oliveira:

All right then leadership question here. Are you a backseat driver?

Amizetta Clark:

No, I prefer to be upfront with what I'm doing I guess in terms of leadership of the hospital. I try to be very clear about the expectations and what's going, and then I try to let people guide themselves and then I'll step in and tell them if something's wrong. But I really try to let them do it and make mistakes. I think that's how you learn and grow. Unless it has to do with patient safety, obviously. Then I will step in before and maybe backstreet-

Japhet De Oliveira:

Backstreet.

Amizetta Clark:

Backseat drive a little bit. But in general I try to let people learn themselves.

Japhet De Oliveira:

All right. Are you a fan of Backstreet... No, I'm kidding.

Amizetta Clark:

I did listen to them when I was younger.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Okay, all right. Freudian slip, I just wondered. Where do you want to go? The floor is open between 11 and 100.

Amizetta Clark:

Does anyone ever just go to 100?

Japhet De Oliveira:

Some have actually. Yeah, yeah. Do you want to go straight to 100?

Amizetta Clark:

Let's do it.

Japhet De Oliveira:

All right.

Amizetta Clark:

Let's get the bad out of the way.

Japhet De Oliveira:

I don't know if it's bad for sure. All right, tell us about one question that you don't want to answer.

Amizetta Clark:

I don't know what the, it's more the answer. I don't even know what the question is, more the answer that I don't want to say, but I don't even know how to say the question. I guess the question would be how you truly feel about yourself and your role. And the reason why this is a difficult question, and I don't want to answer it-

Japhet De Oliveira:

Okay.

Amizetta Clark:

Is because in general I feel like I'm really good at what I do. I love what I do. I really truly love helping people and I love psychiatry and medicine and how they are intertwined, but a lot of times I feel not smart enough or, yeah, not smart enough or have the leadership skills or the business skills to be in the role that I'm in. Almost like an imposter syndrome. And I think a lot of physicians have that-

Japhet De Oliveira:

It's true.

Amizetta Clark:

Early on. I still feel like I have that a lot of times I will get put in positions and I'm like, "Why did they ask me to do that? I'm not smart enough to be here." And that's something that I have to work on because I do study and I do learn and I do well with my patients, but that battle in my head, I still have quite frequently and it's something that I am not proud of. I don't want to be that way. But yeah, so that's probably a question that I don't really want people to know because it's like you're supposed to be confident in your job and what you do, and I am to an extent in my decisions and things, but there's always this, "Do you really deserve to be here? Should you be in this position where you're doing this?"

Japhet De Oliveira:

All right. That's a really interesting answer because I was thinking about this, I was just reading some stuff about this recently about development and what is the purpose of our life and where do we go with things. And so the author was suggesting that the older you get, the less you know, and the wiser you are to admit that less. Do you feel like you're in that space?

Amizetta Clark:

I would love to say it's that, that I'm wiser, so I'm saying that. Maybe it is. Maybe it's that your limits a little bit more, because it's not that I think I that and then I don't try to better myself. Again, I try to learn every day and do those things, but I do... Yeah, so maybe.

Japhet De Oliveira:

You learn every day? You like to learn?

Amizetta Clark:

Yeah, I do.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah.

Amizetta Clark:

I don't know if you can go into medicine not liking to learn.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Well, it's true.

Amizetta Clark:

I loved school and I love that mental challenge of...

Japhet De Oliveira:

But there are some people who are very comfortable saying they know this routine and they just stay in that space, but they don't want to discover much more because it hurts their head. But there is something about in learning wider than just our field.

Amizetta Clark:

Yeah, I definitely agree with that. Yeah, I feel like we can get very focused on our job and it's good to explore other things. Recently I just started learning about business. I took an MBA program when I was in my residency just online, just to learn business and-

Japhet De Oliveira:

As you do.

Amizetta Clark:

Why not get your MBA? But I recently was doing classes and courses in taxes because we don't learn about that either.

Japhet De Oliveira:

As you do as well apparently. Not everybody does this.

Amizetta Clark:

So I did it and when I do get on something, I dive pretty hard into it. And so I just spent hours in between work and going home with my kids just listening to tax strategies and what to do with work, because they don't teach you that. They don't teach you that in school. They don't teach you that in medical school. And it's everyone's lives and it can really impact you. And I want to provide something for my family in the future. I can't give them my medical degree. So just how to navigate that part of my life and I felt like I wasn't prepared. And so that's recently what I've been diving into.

Japhet De Oliveira:

I actually think the humility and reaching a stage in your life, the humility of realizing that we actually don't know everything, and yet we're still asked to do something means that people see it in us, which is great. And so they must see it in you, which I see in you, which is wonderful. But yeah, if you ever get to the stage where you're like, "Yeah, sure, of course you should tell me." Maybe that's when you should go get checked.

Amizetta Clark:

Yeah, that's a good point. That's a good point.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Every responsibility requires some learning and that means that you cultivate good relationships. So it's good. Hey, that's fantastic. All right, so that was question 100. You were worried. Want to go-

Amizetta Clark:

Oh good, now we're downhill.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Where do you want to go? Yeah. Well again, I don't know about downhill, but yeah.

Amizetta Clark:

I guess it's all just to other's-

Japhet De Oliveira:

Your definition of these question.

Amizetta Clark:

I know I came into it being scared.

Japhet De Oliveira:

No, it's great. It's great. Where would you let go after 100?

Amizetta Clark:

Let's do 75.

Japhet De Oliveira:

75, okay.

Amizetta Clark:

Way down.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Way down, all right. Do you remember the very first thing that you bought with your own money? What was it and why?

Amizetta Clark:

Oh man.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah. Back in the day.

Amizetta Clark:

I know.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah.

Amizetta Clark:

What did I buy with my own money?

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, last week.

Amizetta Clark:

Isn't that the truth? I'm really trying to think about that. Because I did mostly sports through school, so it wasn't until college that I really probably had my own money. I don't count allowance or whatever money. So when I had my own job, I want to say I bought, if I remember correctly, like a CD player.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, yeah. Okay.

Amizetta Clark:

I think is what I bought and some CDs.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, that was-

Amizetta Clark:

I'm pretty sure-

Japhet De Oliveira:

A big thing.

Amizetta Clark:

That's what I bought.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, yeah.

Amizetta Clark:

Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira:

What type of music?

Amizetta Clark:

Oh man, back then it was a lot of country. Backstreet Boys also.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Garth Brooks?

Amizetta Clark:

Yeah, Garth Brooks was my favorite.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Sure he was.

Amizetta Clark:

I loved Garth Brooks. Oh my goodness. And then I also really liked the Beach Boys.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, yeah. Okay. That's a cross-section.

Amizetta Clark:

Yeah, it was just all of it.

Japhet De Oliveira:

We now know we needed to pray for you.

Amizetta Clark:

Yeah, exactly.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's great. Hey, that's good. CD player, that was amazing. Especially when they used to skip.

Amizetta Clark:

Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira:

You're like, "Why is this jumping?"

Amizetta Clark:

I know.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah.

Amizetta Clark:

You try to get the ones that said that they wouldn't, but-

Japhet De Oliveira:

They would always skip.

Amizetta Clark:

They would always skip.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, it's just a lie. All right, that's 75. Where next?

Amizetta Clark:

Let's do 70.

Japhet De Oliveira:

70, all right. Tell us about the thing that you're determined to accomplish? Yeah.

Amizetta Clark:

I mean, the I... That's an interesting question because I feel like that changes throughout life. So I was just-

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's true.

Amizetta Clark:

Determined to become a doctor. I was very determined to have a family, a goal. Wanted children. And so now I feel like what I'm determined to do is kind of what I was saying before, provide a life for my family when I am gone, and to provide this stability and have my kids turn out to be good people. And that's honestly what I'm determined to do. That's my whole focus is to show my kids that you work hard for what you do in life and be passionate about it. Enjoy what you do, and be kind to others. And then instilling that in them and then making sure that they're okay when I am gone, whenever that is.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Okay. I have to ask, you mentioned when I'm gone three or four times now, and so what is making you think about that so often right now and framing everything?

Amizetta Clark:

Around that?

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah.

Amizetta Clark:

Yeah, I don't know. I'm about to be 40 this year. No, I don't know. I don't know.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, a third way through in your life.

Amizetta Clark:

My wife's dad suddenly passed away about a year and a half ago in his 60s. Was a forester and was out in the forest and just died. No medical issues. And so I was really close with him too, a great, great man. And so that has definitely made me think a little bit more because that wasn't like we were thinking it was going to happen. It was very, very sudden. My parents are older in their 70s and they have provided me with a great life and have been extraordinary in every way. And so seeing them get older is, I think hard. And so, I don't know, I just have been reflecting a lot on it. I'm not necessarily scared of death, I just want to make sure that I leave my kids with the right stuff.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Have you written your own obituary?

Amizetta Clark:

I have not done that. Never even thought of that, honestly.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, that kind of life. Do you feel like you're living the life that you were called to live?

Amizetta Clark:

I do.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah.

Amizetta Clark:

Yeah. I'm very happy with where I am and-

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's great.

Amizetta Clark:

Satisfied with my life. I mean, not that I don't want to again, improve and do better and all of that, but I am so blessed with my life and my family and I mean, I truly couldn't ask for more.

Japhet De Oliveira:

The present can often, our perception of reality, what the future is, can often be shaped by the present. Sometimes we run to the future and then we're like, oh, we change all of the present.

Amizetta Clark:

That's true.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Do you feel that you're living in the present or in the future?

Amizetta Clark:

That's a really good question.

Japhet De Oliveira:

These are bonus questions, by the way.

Amizetta Clark:

Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira:

You're welcome.

Amizetta Clark:

I love them. That's great. I feel like I'm doing a pretty good job of living in the moment with my kids. But yeah, I mean, I guess a little bit in the future, because I'm thinking about these things, trying to plan for the future. But it's one of the things that I'm very adamant about with my kids is being in the moment and experiencing that moment and not trying to worry always about what's to come. So I'm not even sure how to answer that, because I feel like a little of both.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Hey, that's good. That's good. It's good. I mean, just being aware of it's important.

Amizetta Clark:

Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, good. All right, where next?

Amizetta Clark:

I'm going to just be jumping around.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah. Jump, jump. Yeah.

Amizetta Clark:

Let's do 80.

Japhet De Oliveira:

80, all right.

Amizetta Clark:

I like these deep ones better.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Oh, okay. How would you like to change in the future? Yeah.

Amizetta Clark:

I think I would like to have more patience.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Wouldn't we all?

Amizetta Clark:

Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, I like that though.

Amizetta Clark:

But again, I'm going to reference my family, because they're a big deal in my life. My mother is the most patient person I could possibly meet. I see her with my kids. She has 13 grandchildren.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Oh wow.

Amizetta Clark:

All that live here.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Okay, all right.

Amizetta Clark:

And so I'll see her with my kids or cousins and she'll sit in the car with them driving two hours and I'm with my kid and I'll do that for 20 minutes. I'm like, "Okay, let's go to the next topic. We got to keep it moving." And she just will sit there. As long as they're happy, she'll just let them-

Japhet De Oliveira:

Different view of life.

Amizetta Clark:

Yeah. And so I hope at some point I have that that my mom has. Just that inner peace and patience and I love to see it and I strive to hopefully be as good as her.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Hey, that's good. That's good. All right. So you want to, if you want more difficult or more complex, it's in the 90s. Oh no. Where would you like to go next?

Amizetta Clark:

Okay, let's do 90.

Japhet De Oliveira:

90, all right.

Amizetta Clark:

Let's start at the low end of it.

Japhet De Oliveira:

All right, tell us about how you overcame an insurmountable obstacle.

Amizetta Clark:

Nothing's insurmountable.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Nothing's insurmountable.

Amizetta Clark:

I feel like you can always try and keep trying.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Okay. Where does that come from? Where'd you get that from?

Amizetta Clark:

What, that nothing's insurmountable?

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, yeah. That attitude.

Amizetta Clark:

My family. Yeah, I think my parents instilled in me that it doesn't matter what you want to do, that you keep trying, even if you fail multiple times. And for me, one of those was medical school. I didn't struggle necessarily academically when I was younger, I was really good and played sports and went to college and all that. But I was so good I think during my high school years that when I got to college-

Japhet De Oliveira:

It was like an awakening.

Amizetta Clark:

A little different. And I didn't do well at first and that made it very difficult for me. For med school. You need to be pretty on it the whole time when you're going into med school. And so for me, that was a challenge. I obviously came out of that and felt like I had a lot of life lessons that I learned, which probably helped me with psychiatric patients. But trying to get in med school was really difficult. And it was this uphill battle that at one point I was like, "Man, I don't know if this is going to happen. I don't know if I'm going to be able to do what I really feel like I was meant to do."

Japhet De Oliveira:

Wow.

Amizetta Clark:

But kept at it and different courses. So I ended up going to Caribbean Medical School and I didn't even know those existed. And for a while I had a lot of almost shame from it because in the medical field, people immediately ask you, "Okay, well where did you go to medical field? Where did you do your residency?" And if you don't get into one of those prestigious places, you're looked down on a little bit. And it's changing a little bit now. You still take all the same tests and all of those, that's all the same. Which I get, the prestigious schools, that's what they're known for.

So I had a lot, almost a lot of shame and not sure if I wanted to still go that route to get to where I knew I wanted to be, but having it be this different course that I was not planning. And obviously I did and I said, "No, this is what I'm meant to do. I want to do this." And it's worked out beautifully. But it was a point in my life where I wasn't sure whether I was going to make it, if I was going to be able to do that.

Japhet De Oliveira:

But you did it.

Amizetta Clark:

But I did it.

Japhet De Oliveira:

But you did it. You found a way.

Amizetta Clark:

I did.

Japhet De Oliveira:

And now you take care of people.

Amizetta Clark:

Yes.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Help to heal them. I mean, what greater gift.

Amizetta Clark:

And I think experience is very important. I mean, obviously you can relate to people without having experience, but I think it can make people more empathetic if you've had those experiences.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Troubles are good.

Amizetta Clark:

So I try to use that when I'm speaking with people and try not to be judgmental, because everyone goes through things.

Japhet De Oliveira:

And the truth to that is that circumstances play into so much of what's possible and being able to overcome something. And I mean, gratitude is like, yeah, we can do it. So it's great. Yeah. Well done, well done. All right. That was 90, so where next?

Amizetta Clark:

92.

Japhet De Oliveira:

92, all right. How would you like to be remembered?

Amizetta Clark:

Empathetic. I think if I could have one word, it would probably be-

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's good.

Amizetta Clark:

Empathetic.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Okay, so I've got to ask, with all the empathy you have and the big heart you have, how do you protect yourself?

Amizetta Clark:

Oh, that's a good question. Yeah, it's difficult sometimes. I mean, I think you learn, and I'm just talking about now, I'm just talking about medicine. Let's say with psychiatric patients, you're hearing horrible stories about what they've been through or what they're feeling and they're wanting to kill themselves or whatever. I think you do learn to compartmentalize a little bit in medical school where you're feeling that empathy, but you're not allowing it to get to you. And I don't really know if there's, I don't even have a trick to say, I think I just learned it in school. But there are times when that breaks down and I'm talking to someone and they're telling me this story and I have to really not cry.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yes, yes. Because you're absorbing it all.

Amizetta Clark:

I'm absorbing it. And I think it's a very fine line. I think one of the things that I think makes me good at what I do is that when I'm speaking to my patients, I'm listening. I'm not just in there to hear them and try to give them a med. I honestly, I don't normally even write anything down, because I'm so engaged in the conversation that I remember it because really trying to feel what they're feeling and their story. But again, it's that fine line on not getting too attached and hard and it's blurry and I'm still learning on how to do that obviously, because I still get very upset and sad for some of my patients.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Well, yeah. I mean, that's actually part of being human as well. But you have to carry them and help them. And if you break down...

Amizetta Clark:

Yeah, so you can't do that. So you really have to hold it together, because yeah, you have to be their support and guidance. I mean, the goal is to try to figure out what's truly going on and how you can best help them.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, I understand that. That's good. It's good. All right, that was 92.

Amizetta Clark:

Let's just keep going by twos. 94.

Japhet De Oliveira:

94. If you could change one thing in the world, one thing in the world, what would it be?

Amizetta Clark:

These are really deep questions, like philosophical questions on life.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah.

Amizetta Clark:

Oh, so many things in the world.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, right.

Amizetta Clark:

I mean, I feel like it's a cop out to say care for others because I honestly feel like most people do care for other people. I think it seems like it's been lost, but in general, I feel that everyone, not everyone, most people are good. I feel like that is the truth for most people. And it just gets blurred with circumstances and things like that going on. But if I could make that more of a priority, I guess.

Japhet De Oliveira:

It would be a better world.

Amizetta Clark:

It would be a better world.

Japhet De Oliveira:

It would be

Amizetta Clark:

To just care for people like they're your family.

Japhet De Oliveira:

We have allowed that to happen globally, to not care as much.

Amizetta Clark:

There's just so many other things that I think have happened in the world that we focus on. And in general, a lot of things are selfish. We are doing these things to help better our family or our lives and we lose sight of the big picture. But I think one of the best things is when you help someone else, it really is selfish. You feel good. When you help someone else, you feel good about doing that.

Japhet De Oliveira:

It's good. It's good.

Amizetta Clark:

And if we could have that happen more.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, it is good. Because it's amazing what happens to you and how that happens to them.

Amizetta Clark:

Exactly. It's really for both people.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Like this conversation.

Amizetta Clark:

Exactly.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, yeah. It's true. All right, we have time for just two more. So last two numbers, where do you want to go?

Amizetta Clark:

96.

Japhet De Oliveira:

96, all right. Tell us about the last time that you cried.

Amizetta Clark:

The last time I cried was, very cried, was actually a patient that left and passed away and I mean, committed suicide. And it was the first time that I'd had it happen. And it was, it's going to be hard for me to even talk about it now because it was, these are people who trust you with their pain and their circumstances and you're doing your best to try to help them. And it's not that I'm a direct cause of what happened, but it still takes your breath away a little bit. And I had to call a bunch of my mentors and kind of talk to them about it and they'd had similar experiences and it was good to have that guidance and support to talk through those. And I think everyone has those probably in medicine and it's just one of those things you have to bear. But it was very, very difficult and I cried a lot.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah. And that's actually a good thing. It's a good thing to miss, to recognize that and also recognize it's not you, but to feel their loss.

Amizetta Clark:

It took me a while to get to that.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, no, it would. It would. I can understand.

Amizetta Clark:

Yeah, went through everything over and over multiple times and had other people go over it and really... But that's the process. And I think if I didn't have that feeling, again, I should probably get checked out. It'd be concerning.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah. No, hey, this what makes you human.

Amizetta Clark:

Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah. As you said, everybody cares, but we care at different levels and depths and we allow ourselves to care.

Amizetta Clark:

Exactly.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah. All right, last number?

Amizetta Clark:

Let's do 98.

Japhet De Oliveira:

All right, 98. All right then. What's one thing that you are capable of achieving?

Amizetta Clark:

I'm going to say anything. You know that.

Japhet De Oliveira:

I know. I know. I know. But [inaudible 00:29:04]-

Amizetta Clark:

No, I think one thing I am capable of achieving-

Japhet De Oliveira:

Which is great. I like that you would do that.

Amizetta Clark:

I think, honestly, I think all of those things that I said before about giving my children this life that I want them to have, having them become good, caring people, empathetic people and to work hard and to constantly learn, I think I can achieve all that. I think that's all doable. I think to learn every day is doable and those are the things I want to achieve and that I plan on achieving.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's fantastic.

Amizetta Clark:

Pretty simplistic, but

Japhet De Oliveira:

No, no, it's good. It's good. It's really good. Your optimism is fantastic.

Amizetta Clark:

Thank you.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, that's good. We need more optimistic people in the world. Yeah. Even though there's reality, it's good to be optimistic.

Amizetta Clark:

Yeah. I mean, it's not that... Yeah. Bad things happen in life.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Absolutely.

Amizetta Clark:

I tell my patients this, let's say I'm giving them a med. I say, "Listen, this medicine's supposed to help you be able to manage your feelings better, but I can't stop the world from occurring." Bad things happen, good things happen and we just have to be able to process those. And I do think looking at the positive, being realistic about the negative is again, how my mom, glass half full, get more bees with honey, all those sayings is how I grew up.

Japhet De Oliveira:

All right, so I have to ask, this is a final question, my final question. Anyone's listening to this podcast and they're feeling kind like, I don't know, down, feeling like there's no way out. They can't see the light, they can't see, they feel like things are insurmountable. What advice would you give them, someone who's frozen at space?

Amizetta Clark:

Yeah. I would say the first thing would be to reach out to anyone. I mean, honestly, anyone. Because I think if you can somehow start that conversation, you will feel there will be some sliver of hope when you just have a conversation with someone and are open about those feelings. Again, a lot of times we don't talk about them or we're not honest about those feelings. And so I think the first thing I would say is, anyone, I don't care who it is, it can be a crisis line, it can be a teacher. If you could reach out to someone, I think that that puts you in a better position to start feeling that hope a little bit.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Good word. Good word. Thank you for taking the time. Honestly, I believe that conversations like this with either water, a cup of coffee or something, it's a good way for us to learn from each other. We are transformed by it. So thank you for sharing. Yeah, yeah. And for the good word and encouragement for anyone who's struggling right now.

Amizetta Clark:

Yeah. Thank you for having me on.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. God bless you and everybody else. We'll connect again soon.

Narrator:

Thank you for joining us for the Story & Experience Podcast. We invite you to read, watch, and submit your story and experience at adventisthealth.org/story. The Story & Experience Podcast was brought to you by Adventist Health through the Office of Culture.