Paddy McCoy
Episode 11

Narrator:

Welcome, friends, to another episode of The Story & Experience Podcast. Join your host, Japhet De Oliveira, with his guests today and discover the moments that shape us, our families, and communities.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Welcome to another episode of The Story & Experience Podcast. As always, I'm excited to be able to introduce the guests, but the way I introduce the guests is just by asking them their name and a few questions. And then they kind of introduce themselves through this. For those of you who are brand-new to this experience, there are 100 questions. Obviously we're not going to cover all 100 questions in this short time that we have here, but the first 10 I will ask and then 11 through to 100, the guests gets to choose depending on how far they would like to go, 100 being the hardest, 11 being the easiest. Well, just to kind of dive in as quick as we can, let's enter into this. And the very first one will be question one. I would like to ask our guests their name and if there's any kind of weird pronunciation that we should be aware of, what is your name? And yeah, how do we pronounce it?

Paddy McCoy:

Well the name I go by is Paddy McCoy. I have friends that call me all sorts of names, including the host of this podcast. But my real name, my legal name, is Padraic, spelled a little differently. It's P-A-D-R-A-I-C. So I go by Paddy P-A-D-D-Y. And that is the trick of the name. It is Irish.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's beautiful. Paddy. I am, I'm really excited. Has anybody ever slaughtered your name or...

Paddy McCoy:

Constantly.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Constantly. All right.

Paddy McCoy:

Yeah. Well, you get, actually, it's interesting in the last I'd probably say in the last 10 to 15 years, I've had more people at the checkout and coffee, and they see your name and they get it pretty close. But often, you get Padriac, Paydrach, Petrarch. You always have to spell it because when you say Padraic they get stuck in their mind. It's the traditional P-A-T-R-I-C-K. And the only pet peeve I have, if is if people call me Pat, that's the only thing. Because there's no T in my name.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Good to know.

Paddy McCoy:

You can call me Pad like a pad of paper, but you can't call me Pat.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's good to know. Well, Paddy, we are very, we're delighted to be able to have you on today with us. And so why don't you explain to us, what do you do for work at the moment?

Paddy McCoy:

No, it's awesome to be here, Japhet De Oliveira and thank you for the invitation. For work right now I am a planting a church in Portland, Oregon. It's called Crosswalk Portland. It is a part of the Seventh-day Adventist denomination, but it's also kind of, it's not new for church. It's new for Adventism in the sense that we're a multi-site church. So we're a part of a family of churches with the main campus in Redlands, California, and then there's campuses in Chattanooga and Clinton, Massachusetts, and in places over the country. So we're doing that here in Portland and started that during a pandemic, which is super easy.

Japhet De Oliveira:

I cannot imagine. I can imagine. So I take it, how long have you been in this current role? Did you start it?

Paddy McCoy:

Yeah, I started in June of last year. So we moved across country. I was the young adult pastor at Kettering Adventist church in Ohio and moved in June and started this position. So.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Wow. Wow. Okay. When you begin your day, Paddy, do you have a glass of water, do you drink one of those green liquid smoothies? Do you have coffee, tea? What's...

Paddy McCoy:

I'm typically, I drink a lot of water, so I do have my water, but in the mornings it's coffee, as well. And that's either drip from my house or it's some other concoction from another place that probably is so sweet it should have an umbrella in it. I don't know.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's good. That's good. All right. Paddy, where were you born?

Paddy McCoy:

I was actually born in Dayton, Ohio. Both my parents went to Kettering College and my mom was a nurse. My dad was a respiratory therapist, so we lived there, but the McCoy side of my family is truly a part of the Hatfield-McCoy family. They came from West Virginia, moved up to Ohio. So I still have tons of family in West Virginia and down south, but we were in Dayton and then my parents divorced when I was eight and my mom wanted to be closer to her family, so we moved out to the Northwest. So that's kind of my trajectory.

Japhet De Oliveira:

And when you saw the series of the Hatfields and McCoys, true, not true?

Paddy McCoy:

Well, it's hillbilly land. So there's a lot of myth about what happened or what didn't happen. And I mean, I talked to some people, I've read some books and there were some things they got right, certainly and some things that were ... They made a very clear delineation between Hatfields and McCoys. And it was actually a little muddier. There were McCoys that were on the Hatfield sides and Hatfields were on the McCoys sides. But it was fascinating to watch. It wasn't a children's film because I watched with my children for like five minutes. I was like, "Oh, let's watch this, our family history." And then after five minutes, I said, "Nope, we're done."

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's awful. I'm sorry. All right. Personality, would they say, Paddy, are you an extrovert or an introvert, and would you agree?

Paddy McCoy:

People would say I'm an extrovert. I would say I'm an extrovert. I enjoy ... I describe it this way. I'm an extrovert that appreciates his introverted side. So I get my energy from being with people, but I recognize I need time alone. I need spiritual recharging. I need just time to be, meditate, be still, those kinds of things. So I definitely get charged by people, but I try to balance that out.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Do you have those introverted moments just so that you can create material for your stand-up routines and all the marriages that you do? And I mean, I think how many marriages have you actually?

Paddy McCoy:

I mean, I have friends that have done much more. I'm in the 80s. I've done around 80-some weddings, but that's because I worked with collegiates and young adults for 18 years. So, but I actually, I do, I think that time alone does give you some time for your head to kind of clear some space and process, and I'm a huge person to reflect. I like to go through events and then just reflect on them and think about their impact. I love to reflect on scripture. I love to ... So I do need that time alone in, and you know this better than almost anyone, it takes time and energy and effort to create. So when you're creating a lot, you need that space to allow that process to happen. And as much as I love my time with people and I get ideas from that and everything, I need to back away from it sometimes and just have space to create.

Japhet De Oliveira:

What you should know about Paddy, to all of our listeners, that some people do offer these weddings and they use exactly the same speech every single time. Paddy is, customizes, creates something unique for every single wedding. It's phenomenal. Phenomenal. 

Paddy McCoy:

I did. I don't know. I have to say I did one time. I did one time, I had a couple that was very country Western. They got married at a fairgrounds. She came in on a horse and buggy. They both were wearing cowboy boots and hats and everything. So I knew how country they were. So the wedding homily, I worked in song titles to 18 country western music songs, but it actually worked, it was pretty easy to do actually, because of the way country music titles are, but the grandpa of the bride came up to me afterwards and he asked me, he was laughing, and he asked me, "Do you do funerals?" And I said, "Well, I mean, yeah." And he said, "Because I'd love to have you do my funeral." He said, "I want people to laugh at my funeral." And I was like, "I don't know how to respond. Do I pencil you in for that?" Or anyway, so.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's brilliant, that's brilliant. Yeah. I think sometimes we need to remember great lives that way, as well. All right. Habits. Are you an early riser or a night owl?

Paddy McCoy:

It's interesting. In my job as a chaplain, which again I did for long, long time, a campus chaplain, I told people I was what I needed to be. If I needed to be up late, I was up late. If I was up early, I was up early. So for awhile, I was very confused over what I was. I think now that I'm not working on a college campus, I'm more of an early-bird person than stay up late. I do obviously need my sleep for beauty.

Japhet De Oliveira:

I can tell, I can tell.

Paddy McCoy:

Yeah, exactly. I know it's just a, it's a mess, but yeah, no, I'm more of an early.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Okay. That's good. And what's the first thing that you thought of this morning?

Paddy McCoy:

When I woke up?

Japhet De Oliveira:

I mean, literally when you woke up, what was the first thing?

Paddy McCoy:

Oh man, I think it was, "Man, I've got to see Japhet De Oliveira this morning," for almost like pretty early. That's going to really, it's going to mess with my day. No.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, you're welcome.

Paddy McCoy:

Honestly, my favorite mornings are when I wake up with a song kind of in my heart kind of, and when it's a praise song. It could be a hymn or anything like that. And so, yeah, there's been a song that I've been waking up to, not on an alarm. Just one that I start thinking about, which is a song called God of Revival. That's the one that's been common lately. And so I just, I think about the song, it plays in my head, I reflect on it and that's what happened this morning.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's beautiful. Beautiful. All right. Final question here before I hand it over to you, and it's a leadership question. Are you a backseat driver?

Paddy McCoy:

That's interesting. I think I would not say that I am. I do like to show people. I like to journey with them and I like to show them and then I like to let them go for it. So, part of this is probably because I worked with college students so long, you're training them in so many different things that they need to fail sometimes in order to learn. And I tell them that I don't, I'm not a fan of using the word failure because I rather see ... It's only a failure if you don't learn anything from it and you don't process anything, so something didn't work or didn't come together, then let's talk about why. But I think those are all learning moments. So I like to let it go. Now when my daughter was learning to drive and my son was learning to drive, yes. Yes, I was a backseat driver out of fear for my life. But other than that, I try not to be. I'm sure I fall into it from time to time.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Oh, I hear you. All right. All right. That's fantastic. Now the floor is open. You go from 11 to 100 and the choice is yours. Which number would you like to begin?

Paddy McCoy:

Okay. Okay. I'm going to start with my age. So I'm going all the way up to 45.

Japhet De Oliveira:

All right. 45. Here we go. When people come to you for help, what are they usually asking for, Paddy?

Paddy McCoy:

Money? No. Jesus. Kidding. I'm a pastor. I don't have that. Oftentimes I have people that are coming because they want to talk about some of the more serious stuff in life. You get things in work about how to do this or how to do that, or whatever. Those are the task-driven helps. But I would say when I have someone really searching me out, they want to have an honest conversation about life, about their journey or their struggle, what they're going through. Mental health, that's something that I talk a fair amount about and have my own experiences with. So when people learn that they want to hear my story and how I journeyed and what could help them, or just about Jesus and we obviously, as pastors, you talk a lot about Jesus and people want to know how you, how you have that personal relationship with him. And I always have to start that conversation off with, "Well, there's no experts in the company of Jesus. And I certainly am not one, but I am more than willing to talk about it."

Paddy McCoy:

So, I would say usually it's past the task-driven things, it's the deeper things of life. How do I live my life in a meaningful way? Those are some of the questions I get.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Love that. That's good. It's beautiful. All right. After 45, do you want to go down or up?

Paddy McCoy:

Oh boy. No, let's go. Let's go to 75.

Japhet De Oliveira:

75.

Paddy McCoy:

Yeah. Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira:

All right. Do you remember the first item you purchased with your own money and if so, what was it and why?

Paddy McCoy:

The first thing I purchased? Something?

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, with your own money.

Paddy McCoy:

Oh goodness.

Japhet De Oliveira:

What was it? And why?

Paddy McCoy:

I mean, I don't know that ... Well, no, that's probably not true. If I can remember I had to work. I mean, I got chores. I did chores, I got allowance. I started working pretty young, had to help pay for high school because I went to a private school and all of that. But, I'd say it was probably chore money and it was probably a Transformer. Yeah, with my own money. And just because I remember now, people, depending on what age you are, when you think of Transformers, you might think of the really cool ones they have now and all the parts and all the ways they look. Back in the '80s, they were not that cool. They were like a block with arms. Car, robot, car robot. And, but that I, for whatever reason, I was really into those and had a collection of them. So yeah, that's I think, what I could remember for my first purchase.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah. It's true, now they probably do transform into all those things.

Paddy McCoy:

Oh, now they're cool. And they take you like 45 minutes to transform.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah. But that's just to get them out of the packaging.

Paddy McCoy:

Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira:

All right. Which one to go after question 75?

Paddy McCoy:

We're going to drop to 23.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Twenty-three. All right. Here we go. Tell us about the most outdated piece of technology that you still use and can't let go?

Paddy McCoy:

Oh, my word. Outdated use of technology. Well, it's funny because if I'm talking to my brother, Japhet De Oliveira on the phone here, it would be like my iPhone 11 Pro. And you're like, you don't have the 12 Pro? What are you thinking? Because every new technology, we've got to grab it right now.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Early adopters.

Paddy McCoy:

Early adopters. I know. I really ... Man, that's a tough one. Or my watch is a three series. Like, what are you doing with the three series? How ancient are you anyway? That's funny. I still have ... I don't use this though. I still have my first Palm Pilot. No, I don't have a cassette player.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Palm Pilot. I remember those.

Paddy McCoy:

You remember those?

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah.

Paddy McCoy:

No, it's just nostalgia's sake. But we have a record player that we absolutely love.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Those are kind of in now.

Paddy McCoy:

Yeah, well, I have a dream of getting a phonograph. I want an old one with the horn on it and I just love the way those sound, but yeah. We've been buying records lately actually in the last year, we've probably bought vinyl records. I don't know. We bought a ton of vinyl records.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Those were the days when we got rid of them because we were so excited to get them onto a CD.

Paddy McCoy:

Right. Well, cassette. And then CD. Cassette tapes are coming back. I mean, they're starting to get produced again. What in the world, what kind of world we living in?

Japhet De Oliveira:

Pencils are coming back, too. Sorry. All right. All right. Which one to go next? 

Paddy McCoy:

Okay. Okay. So this one's going up there. So we're going to go up to 94.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Ninety-four, all right. If you could change one thing in the world, what would it be?

Paddy McCoy:

Oh man.

Japhet De Oliveira:

One thing in the world.

Paddy McCoy:

Well, I think, yeah, I'm going to go to the oldies. Was it Burt Bacharach, what the world needs now is love sweet love. No, not just for one, but for everyone. That song to me, it's so hard for me to see how ... There's a passage in scripture, it says that as we approach the end of the world, whatever, whatever that is. And I don't typically like to think apocalyptic and all these horror scary stories, but it says when that time approaches, the love of most will grow cold. And I see that in the world that we live in. We can't disagree with each other. We can't talk to each other about things that we're on different sides of the spectrum over, people are getting in an argument with somebody at a drive-thru and they get shot.

Paddy McCoy:

The politics, the pandemic has been the perfect storm of so many things, colliding politically and our health and fear and all these things. And so what you see, I think is the love of many growing cold. We don't have time for each other anymore. We don't have time to take care of each other. We're just trying to ... Some of us are just trying to survive. It's not that we don't mean well, we're just trying to get through the day. And sometimes it's really, really hard, but if I could change anything, yeah, I guess it would just be the love and grace of God to flow through this world in a way that rescues people from the fear, that allows us to see each other as children of God again, as human beings, fearfully and wonderfully made, that we can recognize, we can still disagree and yet learn from each other and listen to each other and love each other. So that's the one that hits me the most probably is just that we're ... Yeah. Just love, sweet love.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's beautiful. It's beautiful. And it's never easy. Love it.

Paddy McCoy:

Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Thank you, Paddy. All right. Where do you want to go next?

Paddy McCoy:

All right. We're going to drop down to my favorite baseball player's number, and most of these numbers have a significance to them.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Significance, yeah.

Paddy McCoy:

Fourteen.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Fourteen. All right. Here we go. Tell us about what you enjoy doing outside of work.

Paddy McCoy:

Yeah. Outside of work, the sometimes I get to do that. Well, for the last nine months, I've been quote unquote, enjoying remodeling my house every free moment I have, bought a bit of a fixer-upper. So, and I mean, that's hard work, but I actually, especially in pastoral ministry, a lot of what we do, you don't necessarily get to see at the end of the day. When you're talking to people, you're journeying with folks, it's awesome, but at the end of the day, you can't say, "Oh, look at all I accomplished." So sometimes working on the house, working on your car, doing some of those kinds of things gives you that sense of, I can point to something that I did.

Paddy McCoy:

But outside of that, I enjoy, I enjoy movies. I'm a movie guy. Always have been. And, and a part of that, I used to, I haven't done it in a long time, but I used to really enjoy acting, did a decent amount of plays and writing drama and stuff like that here and there. I enjoy time with the kids doing whatever, traveling with the family, going to the coast, just hanging out, outdoorsy stuff. Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Mm-hmm (affirmative). Beautiful. Beautiful. I love that. Good.

Paddy McCoy:

Oh, baseball. Let's not forget baseball, which I know you love, it's an American sport and I do love baseball.

Japhet De Oliveira:

No, we will honor in this particular platform, we will honor.

Paddy McCoy:

At least for that for the next 20 minutes.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, we will honor. All right. Where do you want to go next?

Paddy McCoy:

Let's head up to 56.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Fifty-six. All right. Share an activity that makes you lose track of time.

Paddy McCoy:

Oh goodness. Yeah. Oh, that's a good question. Well, not that it always does, but when I can really jump into my time with God, when I get to that, when it's meditative, when it's reflective, when it's just prayerful and in that, and silent and still, I can certainly lose track of time. But honestly, almost every time I get to a meaningful conversation with somebody, I just really, I enjoy the conversation. I enjoy being present. I'm constantly out meeting with people, especially in the pandemic, you're driving around, you're going to cafes and all this stuff, try to meet with folks and learning their story and whatever, I have to remind myself, "Oh, man, I got to kind of check the clock sometimes," because I enjoy that time with them. So, almost any time with people, but the time that I really cherish the most is just when I lose track of time with God.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's beautiful. All right, good. Where next?

Paddy McCoy:

We're to 87.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Eighty-seven. All right. When you're under incredible stress, what helps to ground you?

Paddy McCoy:

Yeah, no. That's a good one. I talk to people about that all the time. It's, it's amazing how few of us are good at managing our stress. Honestly for me, I've got to remember the self-care stuff. It's the simple things. For me, it's drinking water. It's getting rest. We're so, especially busy people and leaders, it's easy to stay up late and get up early and just go, go, go. And I try to really cherish that rest and protect that because I know I need that. I try to eat healthy. I try to get exercise. I'll admit I'm not as good at that as I should be. I did just recently purchase a road bike though.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Wow. Okay.

Paddy McCoy:

So I'm going to be getting out more in doing that. Getting a good massage from time to time, even out in other parts of the world, wherever I am, getting good massage is good. So it's a lot of just the simple self-care stuff that I seek to do that that allows me to let go of ... I'm a thinker. So, I am constantly processing stuff and it's hard to turn the brain off, so I've got to find activities that allow me to let go and that's what I try to do. So yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's good. Beautiful, beautiful. Yeah. All right. After 87 where do you want to go?

Paddy McCoy:

Okay, well, because I'm really curious, I'm going to say 100. Let's do 100.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Okay. All right. We have time for like two more, so we'll do 100 and then we'll go for one after that. All right. So here we go. Tell us about one question that you just don't want to answer.

Paddy McCoy:

Oh man. I suppose the question I don't want to answer is the honest ... It's not necessarily a general question, but it's when someone has lost a loved one and they want to know why. Maybe they were very faithful and religious and prayed and prayed and prayed and nothing happened. Or maybe it was the ... and as a college chaplain, there were, you know this too, this is part of your background, J, is there were times where you get that call. And I remember I was actually with you doing a conference somewhere and got a call that one of our students had, was out for a bike ride on the first nice day in winter and got hit by someone and died.

Paddy McCoy:

And just having to journey with somebody through that or if ... A close, close friend of mine that lost three of her closest family members in nine months and just asking the question, why? Why would God allow that to happen? Why do we live in a world like this? Why them, not me? Those are really awful questions. And a lot of the time you just listen and you cry with people and you hold people and in that, but those are the questions that I don't, that I get. I totally, I understand them, but I don't want to attempt to answer them.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah. And it's because they are so deeply complex.

Paddy McCoy:

Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah.

Paddy McCoy:

Yeah. And There's so much pain and so much emotion. And especially in the moment. It's really tough. So, yeah, I'd probably say that.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah. no, that's fair. Thank you, Paddy. All right. We have time, as I said, we have time for just another question here and so where would you like to go? And then I have a question for you after that.

Paddy McCoy:

Okay. Okay. I'm going to jump back down to 21.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Oh, 21. All right, here we go. Yeah, let's see here. Share the best compliment you've ever received.

Paddy McCoy:

Ah, that's easy. Somebody told me once that I remind them of their friend Japhet De Oliveira De Oliveira. And I was like, "Oh, my word, that is the best compliment." No, I honestly feel like, for me again, in my profession, in the things that I do is that when somebody says to me that they see Jesus in me, whether it was hosting an event, producing something, sharing, leading a group discussion, speaking a sermon, whatever it is. If somebody says they see Jesus in me, that to me is the best compliment. I can't think of anything that I cherish more than that, because that to me is his grace. That is other than me because I am not perfect. I am nowhere near an expert in these matters of faith and following Jesus. But that to me is just proof of God's goodness and God's grace in my life and his presence, and I'm always ever so thankful for that.

Japhet De Oliveira:

I think that's beautiful. So this is not in the 100, right. But I've known you for, I don't know, over a decade easy, and feels like...

Paddy McCoy:

Feels like 40.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Feels like 40. Feels like 40. But a beautiful 40.

Paddy McCoy:

Yes, yes.

Japhet De Oliveira:

And you know, it's interesting for our listeners, I'd love them to know that Paddy has worked obviously, is working right now as a church planter, in Portland, but he has worked on a campus for many, many years, working with thousands of young adults, part of a very important transitional period of their life, leaving from high school, entering into university, beginning their journey of life, leaving, graduating and so he's seen so many transformative years of their lives and helped them with that journey. When you look back on your own life, Paddy, and your own growth and so much that you've experienced as well, what would you say to a 21-year-old Paddy today?

Paddy McCoy:

Oh, good question. Man. I would say that probably, "Don't miss the moment," is one thing I would say, because I'm a thinker, I'm a worrier and I'm always thinking about what could happen or trying to plan for what's next. And sometimes you can do that so much you miss the moment. And especially when, again, I look to... One of the people I look to a lot, Jesus. Jesus, that was his such a precious gift he had was being able to be so present in every moment that he was in, he didn't miss the needs of those around him or those things. And so, yeah, don't miss the moment. Don't be so focused on tomorrow that you're not any good today, any value today. I would say that.

Paddy McCoy:

The other thing I would say is, man, keep investing in those meaningful connections, the lifelong relationships, whether that's your spouse, your kids, friendships. I mean, I have grown more as a human being in, faith, in life as a leader because of my connections with these people, because of my family, because of mentors that I've chosen to walk and journey with me in my life, because of brothers and sisters I have like you, and my friends, Alex, and Tim and Sam, and I'm just a better person because of those relationships. And so I think that that's one of the most important things for us, that we journey in life with people that help us be better versions of ourselves. And so don't miss the moment and invest in those relationships that are going to, they're going to continue to change your life.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's beautiful. Paddy, Thank you so much, brother, for taking the time, actually, in early this morning and connecting with us, and I want to encourage all our listeners who are listening to right now to continue sharing your story and experiences with each other. Grab a cup of tea, sit down with your friends, and because when you share and when you hear you will grow and you'll realize that you will actually grow others and you'll grow yourself as well. Continue to do so, it will be a blessing on each other. God bless you, Paddy again, thanks so much. And you take care.

Paddy McCoy:

Thanks, Japhet De Oliveira.

Narrator:

Thank you for joining us for The Story & Experience Podcast. We invite you to read, watch, and submit your story and experience at adventisthealth.org/story. The Story & Experience Podcast was brought to you by Adventist Health for the Office of Culture.