Podcast Special Guest, Katie Wagner

Katie Wagner
Episode 21

Join host Japhet De Oliveira and guest Katie Wagner as they discuss resilience, the art of un-learning, and the difficulty and importance of asking for help.
Libsyn Podcast
"It is easier to address something causing you pain than try to avoid it, which will just suppress it until it comes back again. So I would say to anybody who wants to reach out and get help, do it."

Narrator:

Welcome friends, to another episode of The Story & Experience Podcast. Join your host, Japhet De Oliveira, with his guest today and discover the moments that shape us, our families and communities.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Well, welcome to another episode of The Story & Experience Podcast. I am delighted to be able to have a new fresh guest join us, and you will be delighted to meet this guest. If you are a brand new listener, you'll want to understand what's going to happen. So let me explain. We have a hundred questions. Obviously, I'm not going to ask all hundred questions, but we are going to ask the first ten. And then the guest gets to ask numbers between 11 and a hundred, and they get to pick a number, and we go through those questions.

Japhet De Oliveira:

It does get harder. The closer you get to a hundred, it does get harder, more vulnerable. So we'll see where the guest wants to go. And for those of you who are regulars, you understand exactly how this works, so it's really exciting. I'm going to dive rate in right now, but without much further ado, just grab your own cup of tea. Sit down, enjoy, as we are doing the same as well. So let's hear your name and does anybody mispronounce it? Does anyone slaughter it or is it just a pretty straightforward name?

Katie Wagner:

So my name is Katie Wagner. Katie being short for Katelynn, although I usually just go by Katie. Surprisingly, people don't mispronounce it, but people misspell it because Katelynn is spelled differently than most people. So my parents spelled it what they thought would be phonetically. So it's K-A-T-E-L-Y-N-N, but everybody gets it wrong.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Oh. And then eventually they learn, right?

Katie Wagner:

Sure, sure.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Do you ever correct them?

Katie Wagner:

No.

Japhet De Oliveira:

No, you don't?

Katie Wagner:

No, because usually they just know to call me Katie by then.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's good. That's fair enough. All right, Katie, what do you do for work at the moment?

Katie Wagner:

Currently, I am working as a hospital chaplain for Adventist Health. I'll be working throughout the system. So right now I am located in Portland, and I'm loving it. I'm loving it. It's such a great place. I'm so happy to be a part of the greater Adventist Health team and family.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's fantastic. Good. And how long have you been doing that?

Katie Wagner:

I've been here since the beginning of August. So just short of a year, around that.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's good. Well, we're very blessed to be able to have you, Katie, as part of Adventist Health. So this is really good. Just to be able to let everybody know this. What's your morning drink of choice? Is it water? Is it green liquid smoothie? Is it coffee, tea? How do you start your day with?

Katie Wagner:

Water. It's always water.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Water, really?

Katie Wagner:

Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Japhet De Oliveira:

Ok. And is it tap water? Is it one of those bottled waters? Is it Britta?

Katie Wagner:

Usually tap or bottled water, kind of just depends.

Japhet De Oliveira:

It depends.

Katie Wagner:

Yeah, usually either one of those two.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Good, good. Where were you born?

Katie Wagner:

I was born in Walla Walla, Washington, which yes, that's a real place. Some people don't think it's real. But interestingly enough, I was actually born in an Adventist Health hospital. So I was actually born in what was known as the General Hospital in Walla Walla. So that's a fun little connection that I have that I literally started life in the same system I started working in.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That is, that is. Good. That's actually fantastic. That's really good. And when you were a child, is this what you imagined you were going to be?

Katie Wagner:

No.

Japhet De Oliveira:

No? Ok. So what did you want to-

Katie Wagner:

No, absolutely not. I thought I was going to be a teacher or a writer, more so teacher, to the point that I would line up stuffed animals and toys. And I remember a couple days, when I was little, I would teach them. I don't remember what, but I know that that happened.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Oh, that actually explains a lot. If you don't know Katie at all, she is just a natural born leader. And so yes, the fact that she was doing that as a child explains a lot because we've worked together on some projects, and Katie does have this ability to kind of galvanize people together, bring them together, and they kind of just line up and they just do what she says. So I feel like I should do what she says. So it's just great. Oh, that's really fantastic. All right, personality. Katie, would people say that you're an extrovert or an introvert, and would you agree with them?

Katie Wagner:

I would say extrovert, because people have been surprised when I've told them I used to be an introvert. So I think that changed somewhere in college. That being said, I can't go too long without being around people or talking to people, but I do need time with just me. I do need to have a break at some point. So I would say an extrovert with introverted tendencies.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's fair.

Katie Wagner:

Does that make sense?

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's fair. Yeah, it does. That's actually great. And it happened sometime in college. That's fantastic. All right. Habits. Let's talk about habits a little bit. Are you an early morning riser or a night owl?

Katie Wagner:

Night owl.

Japhet De Oliveira:

And by night owl, are you one of those people, it's like two o'clock in the morning or night owl, finishing at 10:00 PM?

Katie Wagner:

I would say usually between 10:00 and 2:00, so midnight. If I stay up too late, too, too late, it's not going to be a good day afterwards. So not super late or I guess we could say early, but also I don't go to bed early.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's ok. I mean, in chaplaincy, it's all sorts of hours, so well done.

Katie Wagner:

Literally, literally. Not even kidding.

Japhet De Oliveira:

No, no, I believe. I remember. Tell me about this. What's the first thought that came across your mind early this morning, as you woke up?

Katie Wagner:

First thought... It was, "I need to turn off the alarm," and then it was, "What time is it?"

Japhet De Oliveira:

Oh yeah? That's fair.

Katie Wagner:

Because I thought I had over slept my alarm. So, "Turn off the alarm," because it was one of those sounds that sounds like a terribly loud panicked alarm. It's not anything pleasant.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Nice.

Katie Wagner:

Yeah, a great way to start the day, right?

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, great way.

Katie Wagner:

Panicking. But it was, "I need to turn this off." Oh, also I had fallen asleep with AirPods in my ears. So I was like, "Did I just lose the AirPods?" Because I lose those a lot.

Japhet De Oliveira:

You weren't worried about like eating those or no? No.

Katie Wagner:

No. It was, "Where are they?"

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's crazy. All right. Here's a leadership question for you. Are you a backseat driver?

Katie Wagner:

Yes. I would say at times, yes. To counter that though, there are also times where I have to push myself to take more initiative, but most of the times I would say I try not to be a backseat driver.

Japhet De Oliveira:

All right. All right. That's fair. That's good. Lovely to hear. All right, so we're done. You see how easy it was? Now, the floor is open. The magical floor is open. And we begin and you go from 11 to 100. 100, obviously being the most open, difficult one. And so where would you like to begin? 99?

Katie Wagner:

Let's start with one lower. Let's do 12.

Japhet De Oliveira:

12. All right, here we go. What is your favorite movie or book of all time and why?

Katie Wagner:

Of all time? Oh, man.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yes, of all time. I know. It's a tall order.

Katie Wagner:

Favorite movie? Probably one that I never get tired of watching. I could watch probably every day is The Sound of Music.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Oh my, yes.

Katie Wagner:

I absolutely love that film, to the point where I could probably quote most of the songs.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Ok. That's good. That's good.

Katie Wagner:

So yeah, I would say Sound of Music, probably.

Japhet De Oliveira:

It was played in England as I grew up, many years. Every Christmas it would come on TV. Every year.

Katie Wagner:

Yeah. I was going to say another one that I also don't get tired of watching that impacted me the most was, it came out a few years ago, it was called Lion. I don't know if you ever saw that one. It was about...

Japhet De Oliveira:

About a lion?

Katie Wagner:

No, actually. It was about a man who lived in Australia, who was able to retrace his roots back to India and refind his birth family. So it was a beautiful journey, and it just left me so inspired. And so that's one of my favorite ones to watch if I'm in the mood to be inspired by that. It's a brilliant movie. I can't say enough good things about it.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Oh, that's good. That's good. Lovely. All right. Where'd you want to go after 12?

Katie Wagner:

20.

Japhet De Oliveira:

20. All right. Tell us about something you would rate 10 out of 10.

Katie Wagner:

10 out of 10.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, yeah. Not nine out of 10, 10 out of 10.

Katie Wagner:

Ok. The first thing that came to my mind was the sunrises and sunsets that Walla Walla gets during the summer. Absolutely stunning. I have a picture of one here with me actually on my desk here. And it's just, it's glorious. You get all sorts of beautiful tones and colors, and no two are alike. And so I always like to sit on the front porch and just stare and just watch them. So I would say the sky at home, basically.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's beautiful. That's awe inspiring. That's fantastic. All right. Good. After 20, where would you like to go?

Katie Wagner:

25.

Japhet De Oliveira:

25. All right. Share the most beautiful thing you've ever seen.

Katie Wagner:

Most beautiful thing I've ever seen?

Japhet De Oliveira:

Other than the sunset.

Katie Wagner:

Well, that would probably answer that too. Let's see. What else? The most beautiful thing I've ever seen. It's pretty generic, but I love moments when people have genuine smiles of happiness. So whenever I see a genuine smile of somebody whose day is made, or if they're laughing or something. An experience where people feel full of joy, that to me is one of the most beautiful things to see. So probably that.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's really good. That's really good. That is actually, that is so true. When you see kids laughing, when you see people of all ages laughing. I mean, really laughing. That's really true. Oh, I like that a lot. Oh, I'm going to reflect on that a little bit. That's beautiful. All right. After 25?

Katie Wagner:

30.

Japhet De Oliveira:

30. Tell us about something that you're really looking forward to.

Katie Wagner:

Something I've been looking forward to. Well, in the near future, I get to actually go back to my university and I get to march and graduate this year.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Oh, yes.

Katie Wagner:

For those who don't know, I graduated technically last year, but because of COVID, we didn't get to do anything in person. So I didn't get to say goodbye to a lot of my classmates, a lot of the department I studied in. And so this year, the school's doing kind of a modified, safe version of graduation. So I'm really looking forward to going back, seeing people, getting to walk across that stage. It's ironic. I already have the diploma, they mailed it to me, but getting to have that experience, and I think that closure. I'm really looking forward to that.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's beautiful. That is beautiful. Ah, good, good. I'm glad you get to enjoy that. I'm glad that they're actually going to make that happen. That's great. All right. After 30, down or up?

Katie Wagner:

33.

Japhet De Oliveira:

33. All right. Tell us about the best gift you've ever given someone else.

Katie Wagner:

The best gift I've ever given somebody else.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah.

Katie Wagner:

I'm going to have to think about that for a minute. The best gift. So this is actually pretty recent. When I was home one weekend visiting my family, we decided to surprise my mom for Mother's Day with updated family pictures.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Nice.

Katie Wagner:

Or sibling pictures, I should say. We hadn't done that in a long time. And she always loves to get sibling pictures of us if we're together. So one evening we snuck away and our cousin actually helped us with this. We got these portraits taken. And then later that weekend we were able to show them to her and to watch her reaction was just, it was so fun. She was so surprised. And it meant a lot to her. And it was neat for me to see just how something simple, like a sibling picture with my brother and sister, meant so much to her. So that was a really fun experience, and that was probably one of the best gifts I've ever given.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Oh, that's beautiful. Lovely, lovely. And for Mother's Day as well. Beautiful, brilliant. Good. Where do you want to go after 33?

Katie Wagner:

37.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Ok.

Katie Wagner:

Why are you laughing?

Japhet De Oliveira:

Because I know this question. I'm like, "All right. It's just like it's made for you." What do you like most about your family?

Katie Wagner:

Oh, perfect.

Japhet De Oliveira:

I know, I know. I was like, "Ok."

Katie Wagner:

I love how much fun we have together. There's lots of laughter around, whether it's just immediate or extended. I feel pretty fortunate to go grown up with my extended family too, so I know my cousins. I love the laughter that we share. Family stories too, is a huge thing in our family. We tell stories all the time, whether it's the same story, which happens. But I just love the way that we remain together even though we're apart. Especially during COVID, we've been able to stay in touch. And so I just love the way that we can be present with each other in our stories and in the joy that we share. Also during difficult times, they're my best supporters. So I love just the connection that we have.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's fantastic. That's beautiful. Good. All right. That was the perfect question for you. 37, right? Which one next?

Katie Wagner:

50.

Japhet De Oliveira:

50. All right. Share about who has influenced you professionally.

Katie Wagner:

Professionally. Well, being a woman in ministry, I would have to say, and I'm proud to say, that I have been influenced by so many fantastic female chaplains and pastors at my university, and teachers too, I would add. At my university, I had the privilege and honor of working so many great professors, pastors, chaplains, and chaplains here at Adventist Health that have really shown me what dedication, passion and resilience looks like, because they just love people and they love God. And the fact that they can combine those loves together and serve others, it's been beautiful to watch. So I would definitely say all of the women who have taught me and paved the way for me in ministry.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's beautiful. Good tribute to them, and that's fantastic for you. Great, great. All right. After 50?

Katie Wagner:

51. Why not? Let's try that.

Japhet De Oliveira:

All right. All right. Tell us about something that you know you do differently than most people.

Katie Wagner:

Something I know I do differently than most people.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Than most people. Yes.

Katie Wagner:

So this is going to sound really weird. This is something I inherited from my extended family, but occasionally... We love macaroni and cheese. Occasionally, we will put ketchup on macaroni and cheese. It sounds disgusting.

Japhet De Oliveira:

No, no, no.

Katie Wagner:

But I actually think it's really good. So I don't do that all the time. But when I do that, people are like, "Are you kidding me?" So that's something I do differently. It's really simple, but that's something that most people would not do.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Katie, do you put ketchup on other things as well that people don't normally?

Katie Wagner:

No.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Ok. All right.

Katie Wagner:

No, no, no.

Japhet De Oliveira:

I like some ice cream with my ketchup and...

Katie Wagner:

No, no. I mean, another thing that I could think of is I'm one of a few people that I know who can actually drive stick shift manually. Most people are surprised by that, so maybe that's another thing too.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's beautiful. Well done, well done.

Katie Wagner:

Thank you.

Japhet De Oliveira:

You actually drive. All right. I may be slightly biased there. Sorry. I should not do that. [crosstalk 00:17:39].

Katie Wagner:

Well, I'll say it took a very long, long time to learn how to do that.

Japhet De Oliveira:

And when Katie says a long time, she really means it took her like 15 minutes, and then she mastered it. [crosstalk 00:17:52].

Katie Wagner:

No, that's how much time I allowed extra for if I was going somewhere, because I knew I was going to stall. I knew it. That's how much time I would add on to how long it would take me to go somewhere.

Japhet De Oliveira:

At least you did it. Well done.

Katie Wagner:

Thank you.

Japhet De Oliveira:

It took the courage to it. Well done. Good. All right. Where do you want to go after 51?

Katie Wagner:

Let's do 59.

Japhet De Oliveira:

59. All right. In your opinion, what subject would you add to a school curriculum and what age would it be for?

Katie Wagner:

What subject would I add? I would say, I think this comes from just what I enjoy doing. I would say some sort of cooking or baking class, as maybe an elective or something. I don't know. And make it available to all ages because that's something I enjoyed doing growing up. So maybe that's just a selfish thing that I like, but I do think that would be pretty cool to see people learning how to do different dishes, maybe from different cultures. Like all of that... Instead of just maybe one class in school, you know what I mean?

Japhet De Oliveira:

Absolutely. Everyone should know how to cook something.

Katie Wagner:

Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Totally, totally. At least one dish, if not two.

Katie Wagner:

Right.

Japhet De Oliveira:

And it should be good. Now I'm with you. That's great.

Katie Wagner:

And it should be good.

Japhet De Oliveira:

It should be good. It should be edible, sustainable. That's great. All right. After 59, where do you want to go?

Katie Wagner:

Do 65.

Japhet De Oliveira:

65. All right. And now share one word that you could use to describe your past, then could you unpack that one word?

Katie Wagner:

I would say surprising. And I say that because I was born very early, which surprised my family, and a lot of the major moments in my life, like my career choice, came as a surprise to me. It was unexpected. And so it's a part of a journey that I actually cherish now thinking, "Oh, what's going to come my way?" And then kind of moving through that moment. So I would say surprising or... Let's see, what else? I would add resilient to that because I was born so early. I had to stay in the hospital for about a month after I was born.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Wow.

Katie Wagner:

I would add more recently learning how to work through anxiety and with COVID, trying to finish school in COVID. It's taken a lot of resilience for some things. So I would say surprising but resilient.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's fantastic. Now for people who don't know this about Katie, Adventist Health is very blessed to be able to have her. And there were lots of people who wanted her to work for them and to join. And so we were chasing the competition, basically. And we won, we won. I mean, it's a coup d'├ętat. So it was really, really, really fantastic. It was really good.

Katie Wagner:

And it's interesting because I would say Adventist Health was part of that surprise.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yes.

Katie Wagner:

It was a very quick process. And so that's a surprise, that I feel really blessed to be a part of this team here at Adventist Health.

Japhet De Oliveira:

We were very surprised as well and happy. Very happy. So it's good. It's fantastic. Good. I like that. I like that word. It's a good word. It implies a lot. All right. Where do you want to go after 65?

Katie Wagner:

70.

Japhet De Oliveira:

70 it is then. All right. Tell us about one thing that you are determined to accomplish.

Katie Wagner:

Determined to accomplish. Well, currently what's the most forefront on my mind is I am finishing CPE, which is also called Clinical Pastoral Education. [crosstalk 00:22:18]. I am almost... Well, I shouldn't say almost, I just started my fourth unit, which I am determined to accomplish that. And for those who know, or may not know, CPE is not the easiest process because you have to do a lot of internal reflection and work and it's hard. I won't lie. It's one of the hardest things I've ever done. So I'm excited and determined to accomplish finishing my fourth unit.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Everyone who's gone through that processes says it's actually a difficult and yet worthy process. So that's fantastic. And you're doing four units, right?

Katie Wagner:

In one year.

Japhet De Oliveira:

In one year.

Katie Wagner:

In about half the time. So basically, in the time-

Japhet De Oliveira:

A lot of processing.

Katie Wagner:

... that some people are doing two units, I'm doing one. So it's a very intensive, condensed version of it.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Well, fantastic. Good for you. Good for you. All right. Where would you like to go next after 70?

Katie Wagner:

73.

Japhet De Oliveira:

73. Share something that you've had to unlearn in your life.

Katie Wagner:

Something I had to unlearn. When I was, I think it was high school. Yeah, it was high school. I had to unlearn... I had learned how to play the clarinet one way. I kind of had just figured it out on my own. And I remember there was a lesson where the instructor was like, "You've been doing this wrong the whole time." And it was the hardest habit to break. It had to do with the way... It has a reed. The instrument has a read. So it had to do with something with blowing the reed the wrong way. And it was the hardest thing at that time for me to unlearn.

Japhet De Oliveira:

To retrain, yeah.

Katie Wagner:

It was so hard and it frustrated me, but I eventually got it. But having to relearn something like playing an instrument, or unlearn and relearn, it's interesting. It's tough. But good thing I did because it made it a lot easier, but definitely hard.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's good. It can be frustrating, right?

Katie Wagner:

Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Japhet De Oliveira:

... to unlearn something. But then the result is often so much, it's worth it.

Katie Wagner:

Yeah. That or I discovered I had been playing, I think it was a guitar chord wrong. I had the wrong alternate fingering or something, and somebody called me out on that once. And so then the whole rest of, I forget where we were, it was a worship event or something, I had to completely do it a different way. That was hard.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah. To remember it. That's true. That's true. That's good. That's good. All right. Where do you want to go next?

Katie Wagner:

Let's do 75. Let's do 75.

Japhet De Oliveira:

All right. Do you remember the very first item you purchased with your own money? And if so, what was it and why did you buy it?

Katie Wagner:

I do. I was just thinking about, not this specifically, but I thought of this situation the other day. It was either a Nintendo Game Boy, I think it was a Game Boy Advance. It was either that, or it was a very early edition of Apple's iPod Nano.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Oh yes. I remember that.

Katie Wagner:

It was a very early edition. I don't remember which one. It was one of those two. I don't remember which came first. It was one of those two. And the funniest story with the... I think it was the same year. I had enough to buy the Game Boy, but not a Game Boy and the game, but I really wanted to get it before... I had this idea that someone was going to come and buy it, and I couldn't get that particular one.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Oh my.

Katie Wagner:

So I bought it and for like a week I didn't have a game, and apparently somebody we knew, I don't remember a whole lot of this, but somebody we knew felt bad and gave me a game, which was, it was Pac-Man. So the only game I had for like a month was just the same version of Pac-Man. So I think that was the first thing I remember. I was so proud of it, but I didn't have a game for the longest time and it was awful.

Japhet De Oliveira:

I remember buying my first car, and it had no wheels. It was great. Yeah. I hear you. I hear. That's good.

Katie Wagner:

I had saved up, I remember it was $80. I had saved up and I was like, "This is so much money." And then I just didn't have a game, but I was like, "I need it. I want to get it right now."

Japhet De Oliveira:

I hear you. All right. That's great. Well, you have time now for two more, the final two. Where would you like to go with the final two?

Katie Wagner:

90. Let's do 90.

Japhet De Oliveira:

90. All right. Tell us about how you overcame a seemingly insurmountable obstacle.

Katie Wagner:

My mind goes to more recently, a couple years ago I think it was. I was traveling internationally with my school and other than the backpack that I had, which happened to have my passport, my money, all of that, my entire luggage for a month got lost on a flight, everything.

Japhet De Oliveira:

How fun, how fun.

Katie Wagner:

Sunscreen, water, everything.

Japhet De Oliveira:

For a month.

Katie Wagner:

Yeah. And I was worried because I'm like, "I'm supposed to go between all of these different countries, some of them with different climates. What am I going to do?" Thankfully, we had some resources show up, but that, I initially was like, "I might as well just get on a plane and go home." So that was one that it took time, but I overcame it.

Katie Wagner:

Another one I think of was in school where I struggled a lot with math. I really, really struggled. I was failing a class at one point. And I had the choice whether or not I was going to stay in the class and try to pass, and maybe have it affect my GPA in a bad way, or drop the class, save the GPA and take it in a way that might not have been the best learning experience for me, which would've been online, which now everything's online usually. But at the time, that was hard for me. And so I made the choice to stay in the class, go to tutoring. I went actually went to class twice a day, because it was a class that was back to back. So two math classes every day, a lot of extra homework time on it. Lots of help during class. And I think at the end of the semester, I passed with like an 89% or something like that.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Wow.

Katie Wagner:

But I remember just crying about that because other people were good at it and I wasn't, and I was like, "I'm worried about my grades. I just want to drop that class." And it was hard, but again, resilience. Right?

Japhet De Oliveira:

I was just about to say exactly that, yeah.

Katie Wagner:

It took resilience.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah. The resiliency kicked in. Well, that's beautiful. That's really good. All right. So your last number, where would you like to go?

Katie Wagner:

You know what? 99.

Japhet De Oliveira:

99.

Katie Wagner:

Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira:

All right then. Ok. What is the most difficult truth you have ever told?

Katie Wagner:

The most difficult truth I have ever told. It is hard for me to admit if I've made a mistake about something. So confessing to mistakes is hard because, as I'm learning with CPE, that gives me a lot of anxiety of kind of perceived like what would happen? But in another sort of difficult truth, it was initially hard for me to start acknowledging and talking with people about my experience with anxiety, because I was very insecure about it, probably because I felt like I couldn't control it. And so I was worried what people would think. Would I ever be able to find help? Would I ever learn how to manage it? Would it ever go away? I was very worried about what other people would think about me. Like would they think something's wrong?

Katie Wagner:

And so for me, starting to tell people about that and be open more about how I was experiencing that, that was very, very hard. Now it's something that, as I've just shared-

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yes, absolutely.

Katie Wagner:

I am more than happy to talk about it because I've learned about it more, and I know more about myself and the resources that are available. But I was terrified of telling, really anybody outside of my family, what was going on. And so for me to start telling my friends and being more vulnerable about that, that was really, really hard.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Perceived fear is really hard to overcome, isn't it?

Katie Wagner:

Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah. And so well done for sharing. Thank you for sharing. Because there are people who do suffer with that and still have not found the right help, and it does take time. It does take time.

Katie Wagner:

And I've found that even though the process of sharing or admitting you need help or I need help is hard, the benefit and the help you can receive is worth it. It's so worth it. It is easier to address something causing you pain than try to avoid it, which would just suppress it so it comes back again. So I would say to anybody who wants to reach out and get help, do it because it's the best thing you can do. It's going to be hard, but the growth and the help and the resources you'll receive are so worth it. And it's worth more than any insecurity or fear you might be feeling in the moment.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's great. That's great. And I agree with you 100%. I think that it's worth the worth the journey.

Katie Wagner:

Definitely.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Surprise. It's worth the surprise.

Katie Wagner:

Yep. And resilience. It takes resilience.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, and the resilience.

Katie Wagner:

Right?

Japhet De Oliveira:

It does. It does absolutely. Well, Katie, it's been fantastic. I'm really glad that you were able to spend some time with us to share a few of the stories and experiences that have shaped you into the great leader that you are. And I really look forward to the future as well. Thank you for being part of this.

Katie Wagner:

Absolutely. Thank you for having me here.

Japhet De Oliveira:

I want to encourage everybody who's listening to, do share your stories. Sit down, have a cup of tea, sit down with a friend. Share your experience and stories because by doing so you grow and you actually help them to grow as well. And I really do think that they are transformative. They will transform your life. They'll transform the community and only good can come out of it. So God bless you and look after you until we connect again.

Narrator:

Thank you for joining us for The Story & Experience Podcast. We invite you to read, watch and submit your story and experience at adventisthealth.org/story. The Story & Experience Podcast was brought to you by Adventist Health through the Office of Culture.