Garret Shon
Episode 184

Narrator: Welcome, friends, to another episode of The Story & Experience Podcast. Join your host, Japhet De Oliveira, with his guest today, and discover the moments that shape us, our families and communities.

Japhet De Oliveira: Hey. Welcome, friends, to another episode of The Story & Experience Podcast. I am at Adventist Health Castle in Hawaii with our guests, delighted to be able to introduce you to them and their story. If you're brand new to the podcast, we have a hundred questions. They progressively become more vulnerable, closer to 100, but they're about stories and experiences of this person that turned them into the leader that they are today. So I'm going to ask the first 10, and then I'll hand over to them. It's good that they're smiling. It's a good sign. This is going to go well.

Garret Shon: I'm ready.

Japhet De Oliveira: Could you tell us your name and does anybody ever mispronounce it?

Garret Shon: Garret Shon. No one mispronounces it, however, they do mix it up.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, sure.

Garret Shon: Because growing up-

Japhet De Oliveira: They switch them around?

Garret Shon: Yeah. I'm like Shon Garrett, Garret Shon. Two first names, but they pronounce it correctly.

Japhet De Oliveira: Correctly. That's great. I can see that. I can see that. Garrett, what do you do for work?

Garret Shon: Here, I am a part-time chaplain, and I'm also the part-time patient advocate here.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, wow. All right-

Garret Shon: So two jobs, double barrel.

Japhet De Oliveira: All right. Can you unpack that a little bit, both of those roles?

Garret Shon: Yeah. So actually when I first started here four years ago, right in the middle of COVID, I came in as a part-time chaplain, and at that time we were the only hospital in the state who was allowing family members to come in and be with their dying COVID family members, patients. And so that was truly a time of challenge, fear, and great confusion. But I think being able to step into that role in the midst of all of that just reshaped my whole paradigm from ministry going forward. And very different from church ministry, but being able to be with patients and families in their darkest times, and to remind them that they weren't alone, it was huge. And so that's the chaplain side of it.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, sure. Right.

Garret Shon: About a year ago, I was invited to fill in the patient advocate role and do it on a temporary basis.

Japhet De Oliveira: A year ago?

Garret Shon: It's been a year I think I passed probation, I think. And-

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, that's great.

Garret Shon: So what I've learned though is that initially my perception was, patient advocate is simply someone who's going to be the complaint department, listened to all the complaints and [inaudible 00:02:44]. And the more I've delved into it, the deeper I've dived into it. I've learned that there is so much crossover between chaplaincy and patient advocacy because the wholeness of the person matters, right? And so many who call with complaints and a passion to-

Japhet De Oliveira: Yes, yes.

Garret Shon: ... say, "Can I tell you everything that's not right?" By the time we end our conversation, we're praying together and they're like, "Thank you for listening," and really it comes down to presence and listening.

Japhet De Oliveira: Sure. Yeah, that's really great. Well, let me actually go this way here. Where were you born?

Garret Shon: Born and raised here, right down the road.

Japhet De Oliveira: Really?

Garret Shon: Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, wow. It's not far away.

Garret Shon: Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: All right. So now as a child, what did you imagine you wouldn't grow up to be?

Garret Shon: Well, my dad was a teacher and he always ingrained in us the value of education, right?

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, yeah.

Garret Shon: Eight kids, seven brothers. Well, seven boys. We have only one sister. And out of the eight, none of us became teachers. So I had always envisioned either going into engineering or medicine. I took the engineering route, the technical route ended up in IT. And so I envisioned just working in technology till I retired.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Garret Shon: God had different plans.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. So then this is where I was going to go, how did you move from that into the role that you're in right now?

Garret Shon: Yeah. It was a really crazy time when my youngest brother's, twin boys, I think they were about two years old. One of them ended up in the bottom of our family swimming pool. And one of my other brothers was called by the other twin, ended up diving in. Long story short, my dad was able to perform CPR on my brother-

Japhet De Oliveira: Really?

Garret Shon: ... revive him before EMS came.

Japhet De Oliveira: Wow. Okay

Garret Shon: So that marked me, and I said-

Japhet De Oliveira: Sure.

Garret Shon: ... you know what? Medicine is something that I really have a heart for. But again, taking off course, my grandmother passed away in a hospital, and I was like, "I'm never going to set foot in a hospital again." So I swore to God, "God, I'm never going to set foot in a hospital again, even if I need medical care."

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. Wow.

Garret Shon: And so he brings me back.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, sure.

Garret Shon: Not only a hospital, this hospital. And I know without a shadow of a doubt, his timing, his plan, his purpose, and-

Japhet De Oliveira: That's amazing, Garret.

Garret Shon: Yeah, no, turning back.

Japhet De Oliveira: Hey. That's beautiful. Wow. Thanks for sharing that. Garret, are you an early riser or late night owl?

Garret Shon: Late night.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, what's late night for you now?

Garret Shon: Between 12:30 and 1:30 in the morning.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. It's late.

Garret Shon: Yeah, it's almost early morning.

Japhet De Oliveira: I know that's late. All right. And this morning when you woke up at a very late hour, I presume, what was the first thought that went through your mind?

Garret Shon: Oh, no. Still waking up early. First thought is always, "Lord, thank you for breath. Thank you for life."

Japhet De Oliveira: That's good.

Garret Shon: And I can't wait to see what unfolds. That's-

Japhet De Oliveira: That's great.

Garret Shon: ... the hope for every day.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. Now, are you a tea drinker, water, coffee? What's your first drink of the day?

Garret Shon: Coffee. Well, sip of water, and then coffee.

Japhet De Oliveira: Just a sip of water.

Garret Shon: Yeah. I'm not a tea drinker. I'll regulate water throughout the day, but you've got to have that vitamin C to get going in the morning, hot, not cold.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, really? Okay. All right. Hey, that's nice, man. That's nice. All right. If people were to describe your personality, would they say you are an introvert or an extrovert, and would you agree with them?

Garret Shon: I think from the standpoint of when I was in ministry, people had the false perception of being an extrovert because as the pastor, as someone who's-

Japhet De Oliveira: Sure.

Garret Shon: ... speaking every weekend, you have to give that impression. But for me, I'm more of an introvert. I prefer to just hang, and have my own space, my own place and just not be bothered, but we know how that goes. But preference over purpose.

Japhet De Oliveira: Hey, that's fair enough. All right, last question in this section for me, it's a leadership question. Are you a backseat driver?

Garret Shon: I try not to be, and actually I think I'm not even a side-seat driver. I like to let people drive, and I like to be a backseat passenger and just enjoy the journey. And if asked for advice, insight, I'm always willing to share, but I like to watch people navigate their own journey and path.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's good. That's good. All right. Where would you like to go next, which number between 11 and 100.

Garret Shon: Yeah, so 100 is the most-

Japhet De Oliveira: It's the most complex one.

Garret Shon: Yeah. We won't go there first. Let's go right in the middle. We'll start at 50.

Japhet De Oliveira: All right, 50 it is then. And share about who has influenced you professionally.

Garret Shon: Professionally.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Garret Shon: Well, I would have to say that professionally in my second calling in ministry here as a chaplain, it has to be our director, Sara-May Colon.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh yeah.

Garret Shon: And-

Japhet De Oliveira: She's amazing.

Garret Shon: Oh, yeah. She's crazily amazing. And what I tell people is, oftentimes you like to refer to leaders who are always working outside of the box. I like to tell people that she has no box.

Japhet De Oliveira: And so she creates the box if needed.

Garret Shon: Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: She's amazing.

Garret Shon: And they're not foresighted. So definitely have been marked and truly, I think, inspired and mentored by Sara-May.

Japhet De Oliveira: Does she know that?

Garret Shon: I hope so.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh. Well, if she listens to this episode then, that'd be great. All right. Where next after that then? That was 50.

Garret Shon: We shall go to 75.

Japhet De Oliveira: 75. All right. Do you remember the very first thing you purchased with your own money, what was it and why?

Garret Shon: I would say it was my first used car.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, okay. Do you remember what the car was?

Garret Shon: It was a Plymouth Scamp.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. I'm going to have to Google this. No, Plymouth [inaudible 00:09:06]-

Garret Shon: Yeah, it's back in the day.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. All right.

Garret Shon: Back in the day.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's great.

Garret Shon: And-

Japhet De Oliveira: Was it a good car?

Garret Shon: It was reliable enough to get me to my job, my part-time job. We all started working at a very early age. When you have eight kids and your dad's a teacher-

Japhet De Oliveira: Everyone's working.

Garret Shon: Right. Resources are scarce, and so you want something, you need something, work for it. But I thank my dad for instilling that work ethic in us. And so I'm not afraid to get our hands dirty, which is a good thing.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's good.

Garret Shon: But it was a good a car.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. Oh, that's great. That's great. All right, where next? That was 75.

Garret Shon: How about, let's keep moving up the chain. Let's go up to 80.

Japhet De Oliveira: 80. All right. How would you like to change in the future?

Garret Shon: Yeah. I've seen so much change and growth, just not only in myself, but in family and loved ones around me. I lost my dad 10 years ago.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, I'm sorry.

Garret Shon: And yeah, I've heard your story too, and thank you for just inspiring many. But I lost him 10 years ago on Thanksgiving night.

Japhet De Oliveira: Wow.

Garret Shon: And initially it devastated the family.

Japhet De Oliveira: Sure.

Garret Shon: We're all there bedside. But I think what it taught us was we can take the most difficult dark circumstances of life and turn it into something amazingly creative, brilliant and hopeful. And so Thanksgiving, which could have taken a very dark turn from that point, has become the most celebrated holiday for our family because it truly reminded us of everything we need to give thanks for. And especially my dad, his life-

Japhet De Oliveira: Of course.

Garret Shon: ... his inspiration. And so for me, change is always based on gratitude. If you have a heart of gratitude, you open yourself up to so many opportunities to do things differently, to do things the way that you would never think of, and often the way that you would never want to [inaudible 00:11:13].

Japhet De Oliveira: Wow. Of course, of course.

Garret Shon: Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: There is a way. Hey, I like that. All right. Good. Where next, sir?

Garret Shon: Let's keep moving up.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Garret Shon: How about number 90?

Japhet De Oliveira: 90. All right. Tell us about how you overcame a seemingly insurmountable obstacle.

Garret Shon: I would have to say that that would be a family disaster. A brother just driving home late one night, and wasn't intoxicated or anything, but just fell asleep at the wheel-

Japhet De Oliveira: Wow.

Garret Shon: ... and ended up getting into an accident and found out later that he didn't even know, but there was a pedestrian on the side of the road, and that person ended up passing. And so that really changed, not only our family dynamic, but for me as well. That tragedy can happen to anyone at any point in time.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's true.

Garret Shon: And we can never prepare in advance for every circumstance, every life obstacle that's going to come our way. But it taught me about the power of faith, the power of God's healing, restoration. And so truly it shaped me in a way where faith, family, and freedom, and not so much freedom in this context of, "I want my rights," but freedom to decide how you're going to move forward.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yes.

Garret Shon: And yeah, we can't make people move forward, or at least not the way that we would like them to, and even for ourselves. But we have a choice every time, and so hopefully I make more right choices than wrong. But absolutely without a shadow of a doubt, faith and family was something that pulled myself and all of us through that challenging time.

Japhet De Oliveira: I have a bonus question for you.

Garret Shon: Okay.

Japhet De Oliveira: All right. This is 90A. How do you explain pain, the purpose or reality of pain-

Garret Shon: Yeah, I think-

Japhet De Oliveira: ... and suffering?

Garret Shon: ... for myself, growing up as the oldest of eight.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, were you really?

Garret Shon: Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Garret Shon: So I'm the oldest. All the responsibility to make sure that none of my siblings got lost, died in the process of childhood, and made it to adulthood. We are all still living, breathing today, which is…

Japhet De Oliveira: You did that man. You-

Garret Shon: I did my part. But I think it gave me a sense of responsibility for others that at one point became unhealthy, and I felt like I was responsible to help fix everyone's pain. And in ministry, that-

Japhet De Oliveira: Sure.

Garret Shon: ... could be a driving force, but it can also be an unhealthy force where again, I take on more than God is asking me to. And so that reminded me that everyone's pain is different, everyone's pain, no matter how big, small, tragic or minuscule, matters. And it helps to shape us, and it helps to grow us to move forward. Pain is very, for me, it's very open-ended, but no pain is too big or too small to be disregarded.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. That's good. That's good. All right, that was 90A. So where would you like to go next?

Garret Shon: We'll go to 95.

Japhet De Oliveira: 95. All right. This is actually perfect for you. All right. This is as if this was written for you. Tell us about how you see your faith and life intersecting.

Garret Shon: Yeah. I think when I was younger I used to always look for that intersection, right? "God, where are you? I want to follow your path. I want to make sure that I'm making the right choice." Now, I think it's not so much an intersection as it is more just an immersion. And that helps me in not being so determined to find the exact step that God wants me to take, but just to be open to, even if I take a step backwards, that might be the step that God wants me to take at that point in time. And so I think it's become more of a holistic-

Japhet De Oliveira: Sure.

Garret Shon: ... presence rather than a crossroad.

Japhet De Oliveira: Did you pick that up from someone or is this something you've always known, or how did you come to that conclusion?

Garret Shon: No, I think I just discovered that along the way. And I like to tell people that my educational background has always taken a different course from the-

Japhet De Oliveira: Engineering…

Garret Shon: ... normal. So even in ministry I tell people that I have an advanced degree, I have a PhD, and I've earned it from the school of hard knocks. PhD is called tragedy, disaster and death. And it's definitely something that I wouldn't encourage everyone to pursue. However, when you find yourself in that circumstance, there is no greater teacher than sitting with a patient who just lost their family member. For me, my kryptonite is anything having to do with babies-

Japhet De Oliveira: Sure.

Garret Shon: ... and I've had my fair share, and recognizing that a lot of times the absolute best thing you can do is just to be there for people.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's true.

Garret Shon: Not offer words of wisdom.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's true.

Garret Shon: Not offer words of encouragement or hope. It's just to be there with them.

Japhet De Oliveira: Very hard for us as humans to do that, just to be present, right?

Garret Shon: Exactly. Especially when you go into with, "What are you going to tell me? How are you going to fix me? And what's going to make things better?" It's like I have nothing that I can offer, but I can sit here with you, and like Job's friends, right?

Japhet De Oliveira: Yes.

Garret Shon: Until they started opening their mouth.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's what I was going to say, until they opened their mouth, they were doing pretty well.

Garret Shon: Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. All right. Hey, thanks for sharing that. I like that. 95, so where next?

Garret Shon: Let's go to 99.

Japhet De Oliveira: 99. Oh. All right. Garrett, what is the most difficult truth that you ever told?

Garret Shon: I think it's to a family member who asks the question, "Where is my loved one eternity, spending eternity?" And we talked about their beliefs, their loved one's beliefs, my beliefs.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yes.

Garret Shon: And no matter how you put, and again, this is back in the day when I was ministering in the church. Without compromising, without watering anything down, having to share my belief that the word of God that I follow and I hold onto says that Jesus is the way, the truth and the life.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yes.

Garret Shon: Not to condemn any other belief, but at the same time to just have people reevaluate for themselves. And as I shared faith, family, freedom, what do you believe? What do you choose? And you've got to make that decision for yourself. So when I shared that with church family member, family member, it was probably one of the most devastating things that he had to hear, was very upset at the time, but eventually came back and said that, "You know what? I hear what you're saying. We're all going to find out for ourselves at some point in time." And all I could say was, "And I'm glad I'm not the judge, and he will judge. He will determine. And so we will continue trusting in the one who says that we will stand before him."

Japhet De Oliveira: That's a good illustration and a good reminder actually of speaking truth into other people's lives-

Garret Shon: Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: ... if they ask.

Garret Shon: Yeah. You don't want to just, "Here you go."

Japhet De Oliveira: Let just be gentle about it.

Garret Shon: Yeah, "Let me just bombard you with what you need to know."

Japhet De Oliveira: All right. All right. That was 99. So where next?

Garret Shon: Okay, we'll go down to 25.

Japhet De Oliveira: 25. All right. Share with us the most beautiful thing you've ever seen.

Garret Shon: Actually two.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, yeah? Oh, nice. I like it.

Garret Shon: So it's a tie. Tie for the first. The most beautiful thing I've ever seen with my own eyes, not through anyone else's secondhand description, has been the birth of my daughter and son. And to be there as a dad-

Japhet De Oliveira: It's amazing.

Garret Shon: ... it's amazing. And I just have so much grace for those who came before when dads weren't even allowed-

Japhet De Oliveira: I know, I know-

Garret Shon: ... in the operating room, delivery room, whatever you want call it.

Japhet De Oliveira: Even as the kids grew up, I wondered.

Garret Shon: It's like, "Stay in the waiting room. We'll tell you when baby's here." And yeah, those two moments by far, they're the most beautiful.

Japhet De Oliveira: It's beautiful.

Garret Shon: Yeah, beautiful.

Japhet De Oliveira: Do you have two kids then?

Garret Shon: Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: All right. Do you have a favorite?

Garret Shon: Of course. Of course, I do.

Japhet De Oliveira: Which one?

Garret Shon: My son and daughter.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's beautiful, man.

Garret Shon: They've both taken different routes, different journeys. And I have a daughter who's a nurse, a son who's trying to figure things out after graduation. He's still living in Phoenix, Arizona. And adulting is a good thing.

Japhet De Oliveira: You know what? It is, but it is very complex for this next generation.

Garret Shon: Oh, yeah. Hugely.

Japhet De Oliveira: A lot more complex than what we experienced, right?

Garret Shon: By far.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. Lots of choices, which is exciting, but then confusing and hard and-

Garret Shon: Unbelievable.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Garret Shon: Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: So adulting, very complex. All right, we have time for two more final two numbers. My goodness. Garrett, so where do you want to go, sir?

Garret Shon: Let's see. We will go with one of my favorite numbers, 32.

Japhet De Oliveira: 32. All right. If you were featured, this is great. If you were featured on the local news, what would the story likely be?

Garret Shon: On the local news, I would have to say, I would want it to be a story where I'm not the feature or the headline of the news article, but I'm the guy that they interview and say, "What really happened?"

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. Oh, okay.

Garret Shon: "And can you really tell us what really happened, because this is what is being portrayed and we're being told, you need to believe this, but what really happened?" And for me, I think I'm always the person who likes to be the person behind the scene. And if you need something, I'm always here for you.

Japhet De Oliveira: You'll stick it up.

Garret Shon: Yeah. But I don't want to be at the forefront.

Japhet De Oliveira: But you like to know.

Garret Shon: That's a good thing, to know, to share when asked, when appropriate. But yeah, so behind the scenes, just giving the insight behind the scenes.

Japhet De Oliveira: I like that, man. I like that. All right, that's brilliant. Last number.

Garret Shon: Last number.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Garret Shon: We'll go with number five…

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, actually we've done the first five-

Garret Shon: Oh, we've done-

Japhet De Oliveira: ... first 10.

Garret Shon: Okay. We will go with 25.

Japhet De Oliveira: 25, all right.

Garret Shon: Did we do that?

Japhet De Oliveira: Let's look here. Yes, we have.

Garret Shon: Okay.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Garret Shon: Yeah, I was going to say, I think we've already done that.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, we did.

Garret Shon: Okay. We will just do a random number 77.

Japhet De Oliveira: 77. All right. Oh, this is great for you. Share one of your most cup filling experiences with us.

Garret Shon: I hate to say this, but one of my most cup filling experiences has to do with death. And again, not so much the loss, but I think the ability to be present with a family who had just lost or were in the process of losing their wife and mom. And so I was there with the husband bedside, two kids, adult children flying in from the West Coast. They made it here in the nick of time, met them in the ER, walked them up to ICU. I was able to gather the family together, and that was three years ago.

And just two weeks ago, I had breakfast with the husband of the woman who passed. I love this when God orchestrates it, but he has revealed many, what I believe are going to be lifelong relationships that come out of death, tragedy and grief, to turn it into not immediate hope, but at some point in time, hope and life, and living it with just an anticipation of what the future holds. And so to be here three years later, because my friend had just shared with me, he goes, "Can you believe it's been three years ago? Oh, my gosh. It seems like a year." He said, "It's been three years, and we're moving forward with life." And so those are the kinds of cup overflowing moments that I get out of tragedy and grief.

Japhet De Oliveira: Sure. To be part of somebody's story.

Garret Shon: Yeah, exactly. I don't need to be the head story.

Japhet De Oliveira: No. No, I hear.

Garret Shon: But like you said-

Japhet De Oliveira: I hear.

Garret Shon: ... being a part of that story, yeah, it's just-

Japhet De Oliveira: It's a privilege.

Garret Shon: Yeah. It's overflowing.

Japhet De Oliveira: Garrett, thanks so much for sharing. It's been inspirational and encouraging, some very unexpected answers. I appreciate that. That's great. It's great. I encourage people to do the same, sit with a friend, ask good questions. We learn, and I do believe we're all changed for the better.

Garret Shon: Absolutely. Thank you too for…

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, absolutely. God bless you, and God bless everybody who is listening. Until we connect again.

Garret Shon: Amen.

Japhet De Oliveira: All right.

Narrator: Thank you for joining us for The Story & Experience Podcast. We invite you to read, watch, and submit your story and experience at adventistshealth.org/story. The Story & Experience Podcast was brought to you by Adventist Health for the Office of Culture.