Shelby Faria
Episode 197

Narrator:

Welcome friends to another episode of The Story and Experience Podcast. Join your host, Japhet De Oliveira with his guest today, and discover the moments that shape us, our families, and communities.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Hey, welcome friends to another episode of the Story & Experience podcast. I'm delighted to be here in Roseville, California in the studio recording with a new guest. And if you're brand new to the podcast, we have a hundred questions. They progressively become more vulnerable, close to the 100. And they're about stories and experiences that shape this person into the leader that they are today. I'm going to ask the first 10, and they get to pick numbers randomly between 11 and 100, and we'll see where it goes. So first one, could you tell us your name, and does anybody ever mispronounce it?

Shelby Faria:

My name is Shelby Faria. I am often called Shelley.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Okay.

Shelby Faria:

And they often mispronounce my last name is Faria.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Well, there you go. Do you correct people when they...

Shelby Faria:

No.

Japhet De Oliveira:

No, you just let them call you Bob?

Shelby Faria:

Well, it depends. If they're really nice, I don't. But if they're a little mean, I will. No, it's like Maria with an F.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Now, Shelby is a great name. Is that by any chance connected to the car?

Shelby Faria:

It is. My dad was a race car driver.

Japhet De Oliveira:

All right.

Shelby Faria:

Yes, that's how I got named Shelby.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's fantastic.

Shelby Faria:

Thank goodness he didn't race Pinto's.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's true. That's true. Oh, that's great. That's great. Have you driven a Shelby?

Shelby Faria:

No, I have not. I would love to.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's got to be one of those race days.

Shelby Faria:

It has to be.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, let's do that. All right, Shelby, that's fantastic. Tell me, what do you do for work?

Shelby Faria:

I'm an executive assistant at Adventist Health in Roseville.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Nice, nice. And how long have you been in EA?

Shelby Faria:

I've been in EA here for approximately a year and a half.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Oh, great. Just a year and a half? That's fantastic. Now, what did you do before?

Shelby Faria:

I worked at Kaiser Permanente as an admin specialist four.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Well, welcome to Adventist Health.

Shelby Faria:

Thank you.

Japhet De Oliveira:

I'm glad you're here. That's great. That's great. Now, Shelby, where were you born?

Shelby Faria:

I was born in Fontana, California.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Okay. I am learning all the time. So south, north, mid?

Shelby Faria:

It's right outside of San Bernardino. That was our only hospital.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Okay. All right.

Shelby Faria:

There wasn't much where I grew up.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Now, when you were a child, what did you imagine you grew up to be?

Shelby Faria:

I would be a nurse.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Really?

Shelby Faria:

Yes.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Did you ever train to be a nurse? Did you try?

Shelby Faria:

I started going through school, and then my husband and I got pregnant with my son.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Oh, yeah?

Shelby Faria:

And then we had a lot of complications in the pregnancy, and then he was sick after.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Changed your life?

Shelby Faria:

It changed my life, which is great I love my son.

Japhet De Oliveira:

But you're working for healthcare now?

Shelby Faria:

See? It all makes sense. It's just a calling.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Hey, that's fantastic. That's great. Okay. Now, are you an early riser or late night owl?

Shelby Faria:

Neither.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Okay. All right.

Shelby Faria:

I like to sleep.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Okay, good for you.

Shelby Faria:

And the older I get, the more I want to sleep. So I go to bed early, and then I wake up about...

Japhet De Oliveira:

A reasonable hour?

Shelby Faria:

Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira:

All right. So at this reasonable hour this morning when you woke up, what was the first thought that went through your mind?

Shelby Faria:

Oh my gosh. I have to do my hair because I have a headshot.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Okay. All right. That's great.

Shelby Faria:

That's the first thing I thought.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Okay. That's good, that's good. Now, if people were to describe your personality, Shelby, would they say you are an introvert or an extrovert, and would you agree with them?

Shelby Faria:

I am both. So it depends on how well you know me. If you know me well, then I'm more of an extrovert. So I'm an introverted extrovert.

Japhet De Oliveira:

I like it. I like it.

Shelby Faria:

Yeah. So then my extroverted self makes plans that my introverted self is like, "No, what are you thinking?"

Japhet De Oliveira:

As long as you're not talking to yourself. Okay.

Shelby Faria:

No. Well, I do.

Japhet De Oliveira:

It's all good, it's all good. Hey, leadership question here for you. Are you a backseat driver?

Shelby Faria:

For leadership, no.

Japhet De Oliveira:

No?

Shelby Faria:

In leadership aspect, no. If I'm driving and sitting in the back seat, my kids are driving, yes.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Okay. Do you think that they don't see it coming?

Shelby Faria:

They're not paying attention. They are not, and my imaginary break is not working.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's fair enough. I forgot probably the most important question before I hand it over to you, and it's your first drink of the day. Is it coffee, tea, liquid green smoothie? We need to know these things.

Shelby Faria:

It's important.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, no, it is.

Shelby Faria:

Diet Pepsi and water.

Japhet De Oliveira:

No way.

Shelby Faria:

Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Really? Diet Pepsi and water?

Shelby Faria:

Not at the same time. But yeah, and once in a while, a Red Bull in the morning.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Really? Okay ,so no coffee, just Red Bull?

Shelby Faria:

Yeah, I know it's horrible for me.

Japhet De Oliveira:

So Pepsi more than Coke?

Shelby Faria:

Diet Pepsi. But if I drink a non-diet drink, it's Coke. It's really weird.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Okay. All right.

Shelby Faria:

Makes no sense.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Hey, that's fair enough. All right, so floor is open, you get to pick a number. Where are you going to go?

Shelby Faria:

I was really afraid of picking a number.

Japhet De Oliveira:

All right.

Shelby Faria:

And so I typed up numbers on sheets and put them in a bowl for my kids on little pieces of paper. And so they chose 15. So I'm going to go with whatever they chose. I wrote them down.

Japhet De Oliveira:

All right. You wrote the numbers down, right?

Shelby Faria:

I did.

Japhet De Oliveira:

So which number's first?

Shelby Faria:

Let's start with 22.

Japhet De Oliveira:

All right. If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be? Oh, I like it, you've crossed it off as well. This is very efficient.

Shelby Faria:

It's me taking control.

Japhet De Oliveira:

I love this Shelby, it's great.

Shelby Faria:

It's my way of taking control over it.

Japhet De Oliveira:

No, no. Okay, okay, so I should repeat the question. If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be?

Shelby Faria:

Fiji.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Fiji? Really? Never been there?

Shelby Faria:

No.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Oh, okay.

Shelby Faria:

I was just talking to a friend about it last night. I'm like, "We have to go. We have to go." That's my dream vacation.

Japhet De Oliveira:

I've heard it's beautiful.

Shelby Faria:

Yeah. That's my dream vacation.

Japhet De Oliveira:

All right, so when? How long?

Shelby Faria:

I don't know,

Japhet De Oliveira:

Two years from now?

Shelby Faria:

Let's say it, yeah. Let's manifest it and just put it out there.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's exactly it. All right, all right. That was 22. So where next?

Shelby Faria:

Let's go 71.

Japhet De Oliveira:

71. All right. Describe a time when your life took a really unpredictable turn.

Shelby Faria:

Oh, there's so many twists and turns.

Japhet De Oliveira:

I like this.

Shelby Faria:

Never a dull moment. I would say it was when my son had a brain injury, suffered a brain injury, and he had a severe concussion to where they had to give him harsh medication to prevent seizures. He had a tic, a stutter. He couldn't hold his balance.

Japhet De Oliveira:

How old was he at the time?

Shelby Faria:

He was 17 and playing baseball in high school. And it was just a freak accident. And yeah, so that's where our lives completely...

Japhet De Oliveira:

Changed.

Shelby Faria:

And it happened right before the COVID shutdown. So it was difficult to see doctors and trying to...

Japhet De Oliveira:

Wow.

Shelby Faria:

Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira:

How's he doing now?

Shelby Faria:

He's great.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah?

Shelby Faria:

He's great. But that was the toughest thing is telling him he couldn't play the game he loved so much anymore because his depth perception's off.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Sure, sure.

Shelby Faria:

Yeah, changed his eyesight, changed everything.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's intense, Shelby. Well, I'm glad he's better.

Shelby Faria:

Yes, thank you.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Loads better. That's fantastic. That's good news. All right. Hey, thank you for sharing that. Where next?

Shelby Faria:

Let's go 44.

Japhet De Oliveira:

44. Okay. What's something that you are proud to have created?

Shelby Faria:

Oh, my son. Yeah. He's so much of a better person than I am.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's what we aspire for all of our kids.

Shelby Faria:

Yeah. Between his parents, I'm like, "Wow. I did something good." Well, I raised him. But yeah, that's what I'm most proud of.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Hey, that's pretty good. Does he know how proud you are of him?

Shelby Faria:

Oh, he knows because he works for the city of Roseville where I used to work. And they're always like, "Yeah, ran into your mom. She's just saying what you're doing."

Japhet De Oliveira:

Hey, that's fantastic. It's good when kids know that. That's great.

Shelby Faria:

Yeah, he knows.

Japhet De Oliveira:

All right, where next?

Shelby Faria:

Oh, I'm afraid. I'm going to go 90. Let's go.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Let's go 90. All right, tell us about how you overcame a seemingly insurmountable obstacle.

Shelby Faria:

That would be when I separated from my ex-husband, to where he had some addiction issues. And my son and I had to flee with just the clothes on our back and our dogs while he was at work. And he took all our money. We wouldn't allow us to get our clothes. We had to move in with my dad. Me, my son, and three dogs living in my dad's office in his house.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's intense.

Shelby Faria:

It's very intense. It was very intense. And I worked three jobs.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Really?

Shelby Faria:

This was in Las Vegas. So I worked three jobs, a full-time and two part-time jobs, just so I could get back to Roseville because my son wanted to start his freshman year at Wood Creek High School in Roseville.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Wow.

Shelby Faria:

Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's a lot.

Shelby Faria:

I made it.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, you made it. You really did. Now, okay, so there are people who undoubtedly in similar situations. What wisdom would you share with them?

Shelby Faria:

What wisdom?

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, having gone through it, overcome it.

Shelby Faria:

Have faith, first of all. And second of all, do not talk about your spouse or ex-spouse in front of your children badly. My son said that was the best thing I ever did is I never talked bad about his dad, because it's still his dad.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, totally.

Shelby Faria:

But keep it between the parents, and have faith that'll work out.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Good. Good word. Thank you, Shelley.

Shelby Faria:

You're welcome.

Japhet De Oliveira:

All right. Yeah. All right, where next now?

Shelby Faria:

Oh, let's go 64.

Japhet De Oliveira:

64. Okay, here we go. When you look back at your life, tell us about, "What was I thinking," moment.

Shelby Faria:

Oh my gosh, there's so many.

Japhet De Oliveira:

We all have them. We all have them.

Shelby Faria:

It's like daily. I would say it was when I was a teenager. And I grew up in Southern California, and my friends and I would go over the border to Tijuana, just walk over. And we would go to bars and party there. What was I thinking?

Japhet De Oliveira:

I don't know.

Shelby Faria:

Yeah, we went to Tijuana.

Japhet De Oliveira:

And then just crossed the border, came back?

Shelby Faria:

Okay. We were a bunch of girls, sixteen-year-old girls.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Well, I'm glad you made it.

Shelby Faria:

I made it.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, good. All right, where next?

Shelby Faria:

Let's go 32.

Japhet De Oliveira:

32. All right. If you were featured on the local news, what would news story like to be?

Shelby Faria:

Oh, it has to be a Dateline episode.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Okay. Dateline?

Shelby Faria:

It has to be a Dateline episode because that's my goal is not to be on Dateline.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Isn't that like a murder program?

Shelby Faria:

Or just bad things happen. And that's my goal is not to be on Dateline.

Japhet De Oliveira:

And that's what you imagined would happen, you would be on Dateline?

Shelby Faria:

I'd be on Dateline and everybody watching it would be thinking, oh my gosh, what did she doing? What are you doing.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Okay. All right, all right. Good to know, good to know. All right, where next?

Shelby Faria:

81.

Japhet De Oliveira:

What is something you've given you absolute best effort towards, and why was it so important?

Shelby Faria:

That would be raising my son, especially raising him as a single mom. And it was important that he didn't have a dad, and it was important for me to be mom and dad. So he got a tattoo. His first tattoo was his whole thigh, and it's a tribute to me being his mom and dad.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Oh, wow.

Shelby Faria:

Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's fantastic.

Shelby Faria:

Yeah. I wouldn't go that big on your first tattoo.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Hey, that's good, Shelby. Good for you. I'm glad you have a great relationship with him.

Shelby Faria:

Oh, yeah. We're two peas in a pod.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah.

Shelby Faria:

His girlfriend, I consider my daughter. So if I say kids, it's her. They've been together like five years.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Hey, that's lovely. Good. All right, where next?

Shelby Faria:

Let's go 30.

Japhet De Oliveira:

30. All right. Tell us about someone you'd love to eat dinner with, the sky's the limit.

Shelby Faria:

Oh my gosh. My grandma.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Oh, really?

Shelby Faria:

Yeah, Manny. We call her Manny.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Okay.

Shelby Faria:

Because we couldn't say granny.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Okay. Why couldn't you say granny?

Shelby Faria:

My sister was the oldest and couldn't pronounce granny.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Okay, so it's called Manny?

Shelby Faria:

So she came Manny.

Japhet De Oliveira:

All right.

Shelby Faria:

Yes. So she passed away from cancer when I was, I think 22. And I would just love to have one more sit down with her, just one more.

Japhet De Oliveira:

She's a bit of a legend?

Shelby Faria:

Oh my gosh, they called her the whip.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Okay. All right, now you've got to tell us why.

Shelby Faria:

Well, she really didn't take anything. And if you were in the kitchen while she was cooking, she would slap you with a wooden spoon.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Okay.

Shelby Faria:

Yeah, and you didn't mess with her. But privately, we had a great relationship.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's good. Publicly, it was scary.

Shelby Faria:

It was a little scary.

Japhet De Oliveira:

No, I'm kidding.

Shelby Faria:

It was. Yeah. She'll stab you in the back of the hand with a fork if you reach across the table.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Not everything has to be shit. No, I'm kidding. That's crazy, wow. Okay, right.

Shelby Faria:

Welcome to my crazy life.

Japhet De Oliveira:

All right, Shelby. All right, so where next?

Shelby Faria:

Let's go 79.

Japhet De Oliveira:

79. I'm still thinking about a stabbed fork. All right. Okay, let's go here. Share a painful memory you wish you could forget.

Shelby Faria:

Oh, the first one that comes to mind is my mom and my stepdad, there was domestic violence. And I remember them yelling, and I went to go help my mom when he went outside. And the phone was off the hook. I was trying to call 911, but the phone was off the hook in her bedroom. And this is before we had cell phones. And so I crawled into her bedroom and was trying to get the phone on the hook so I could call 91 from the other room. And just then my mom said, ".et out, he's coming back, get out." And I heard him got out of her room, and then I heard the noise of a shotgun, like the chh, chh, and my mom screaming. He didn't shoot her, but the police showed up in time thank goodness.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Wow.

Shelby Faria:

That's something I wish I...

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah. That's pretty intense. So they say in studies that people who come from families like that, it often just continues in generations. How did you fight against that?

Shelby Faria:

Oh, I did exactly opposite what my parents did. And I raised my son different. And that was another reason why the marriage ended, is my ex-husband had some addiction issues, which he wasn't himself. And it wasn't a place to raise my son.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Now, how did you determine to be this person? Did somebody help you through this process, or did you just wake up one day, "I'm just going to be different?"

Shelby Faria:

Oh, I'm going to do it to where the best revenge is success.

Japhet De Oliveira:

I like it. I like it. Well, good for you, Shelby.

Shelby Faria:

Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah. That's a great testament...

Shelby Faria:

Thank you.

Japhet De Oliveira:

... For others as well, and encouragement. It does not have to follow.

Shelby Faria:

No, it does not.

Japhet De Oliveira:

You can break the cycle.

Shelby Faria:

It does not. Just make the opposite decisions...

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah.

Shelby Faria:

... Than what you think they would do.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah. All right. Hey, that's good. All right, no worries. All right, where next?

Shelby Faria:

Oh, gosh.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah.

Shelby Faria:

Oh, let's go 55.

Japhet De Oliveira:

55. All right, here we go. Share about something that frightens you.

Shelby Faria:

Oh, something happening to my kids.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, course.

Shelby Faria:

Yeah. If I could keep them in a bubble, I would.

Japhet De Oliveira:

All parents want that.

Shelby Faria:

Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah.

Shelby Faria:

They're great kids. Don't mess it up.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's fair enough. All right, that was 55.

Shelby Faria:

Let's go 87.

Japhet De Oliveira:

87. All right, here we go. When you're under incredible stress, what helps to ground you?

Shelby Faria:

I literally lay on the ground.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Really?

Shelby Faria:

Yeah, I prefer cement, like concrete.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Face down, face up?

Shelby Faria:

Face up with my feet on the ground and my hands and arms out.

Japhet De Oliveira:

How long?

Shelby Faria:

Well, it depends on how stressed I am. But I start to meditate. And so it depends on how long it takes me to get into that state of where I can control my breath

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yes.

Shelby Faria:

And yes, but I literally ground myself.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's good, that's good. Are you one of those people that also has those grounded sheets?

Shelby Faria:

No.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Have you heard about those?

Shelby Faria:

No, I have not.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Okay. All right. Yeah, apparently you can get sheets with electric wire and it's attached to the outlet in your wall, and yeah, grounds you.

Shelby Faria:

Really?

Japhet De Oliveira:

I don't know.

Shelby Faria:

I prefer concrete.

Japhet De Oliveira:

It could be crazy.

Shelby Faria:

Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira:

It could be crazy.

Shelby Faria:

I prefer the warm concrete.

Japhet De Oliveira:

I have no idea. All right, that's good. The warm concrete. Welcome to Northern California. Okay, so where next?

Shelby Faria:

Let's go 38.

Japhet De Oliveira:

If you need encouragement, who would you call?

Shelby Faria:

Oh, my best friend Jan.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, yeah?

Shelby Faria:

Yeah, or my son's great too, but some things you just can't talk to your kids about. But yeah, my best friend Jan, she just recently beat breast cancer.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Oh, congratulations to her.

Shelby Faria:

And she just has this great demeanor about her.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Hey, that's fantastic.

Shelby Faria:

And she puts up with me.

Japhet De Oliveira:

How did you guys become best friends?

Shelby Faria:

So I was looking for daycare providers when my son was born. And I got a list from Placer County of licensed daycare providers, and I just picked one.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Just random?

Shelby Faria:

And just because I liked her name. And it was close, and that's how we became best friends 22 years ago.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's beautiful. That's beautiful. Oh, that's pretty good.

Shelby Faria:

She is my son's second mom, sometimes first, depending if he likes me or not that day.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Depends on what he needs, yeah.

Shelby Faria:

Yes.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Okay. All right, good. All right, where next?

Shelby Faria:

91.

Japhet De Oliveira:

91. Okay, here we go. Describe a time in your life when you learned about forgiveness.

Shelby Faria:

Oh, I hate to talk about my ex-husband so much because I don't like him to take up space, but it was for everything he did. It was difficult to forgive him, even though he didn't ask for forgiveness. But I needed to in order to be a good mom for my son. I couldn't hold that resentment. And I didn't want him to steal my energy.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah. No, that's a good call out. Where did you learn about forgiveness? Is that something your family taught you?

Shelby Faria:

My stepdad, and a lot of therapy. Yeah, my stepdad, who was the domestic abuser, is now a head of a church program called Lion Tamers that help men getting out of prison for domestic violence and this and that. And he just pops up with these words of wisdom. And he walked up to me quietly and said, "Don't let him steal your energy." And I was like, "What? That's awesome."

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's great. Yeah, when you said that earlier, I was like, "That's a great sentence, yeah." Good. That's good. All right, thank you for sharing that. Where next?

Shelby Faria:

Oh my gosh, we're going through these so fast.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah.

Shelby Faria:

Okay, I'm afraid, but I'm going to do 99.

Japhet De Oliveira:

99. Oh, it's a great question. What's the most difficult truth you ever told?

Shelby Faria:

I think you would be the same thing. Well, it's two. The first one was telling my son that his dad was gone and just wasn't coming back.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, no kidding.

Shelby Faria:

He had his own issues to deal with. The second one was when my son sustained the brain injury, and I had to tell him he couldn't play baseball anymore, the game he's always loved since he was in diapers. And that was a hard one to watch his heart break on. Yeah, that was tough.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That is tough. It's tough when you have to share something that do it with all the love, but it's still...

Shelby Faria:

Yeah. But we spun it into a good thing, not just saying you can't play anymore, but this is just a chapter. This isn't your whole book.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's good.

Shelby Faria:

So now, you stop playing baseball sooner than you thought you would, and now it's time to start the next chapter of your life.

Japhet De Oliveira:

So bonus question, the book's been published and it's your story, your entire life. What's it called?

Shelby Faria:

Oh my gosh. Don't let them steal your energy.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Okay. There you go. I like it. I like it.

Shelby Faria:

Or resilient.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Resilient? Yeah. Okay, next bonus question. Do you believe people are born with resiliency or that they harness and grow it?

Shelby Faria:

It could be both. It could be. For me personally is I grew it.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah.

Shelby Faria:

Yeah. I was put in situations when I was young that I had to be resilient just to survive. And so that's one thing I talked to my son about is resiliency and looking on the bright side. Yes, this is ending, but this is starting. There's something else that God has put in his path for him.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah. It is really important.

Shelby Faria:

Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira:

No, totally. Good, all right, where next?

Shelby Faria:

Oh, I only have one more left.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Oh, well, then you could go there, and you could choose another number. It's your choice.

Shelby Faria:

Oh, I'm afraid. Let go 100. Let's go.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Hundred? All right, 100 it is. So this is question 100.

Shelby Faria:

Okay.

Japhet De Oliveira:

And that's interesting, it came out random. They pulled that one out. All right, here we go. Tell us about one question that you just don't want to answer.

Shelby Faria:

Oh, anything about my love life. Yeah. I'm a horrible dater. And at my age, it's not fun.

Japhet De Oliveira:

It's not fun?

Shelby Faria:

It's like a dumpster fire.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Okay.

Shelby Faria:

You're welcome.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's good, that's good. A dumpster fire?

Shelby Faria:

Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira:

All right, then you've got to tell us one dumpster fire story.

Shelby Faria:

No.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah. One that just this would make a great movie, a little scene.

Shelby Faria:

Yeah. Well, the first one I'm thinking of, I can't repeat.

Japhet De Oliveira:

No, that's okay.

Shelby Faria:

And yeah, I went on a date with a guy. Oh my gosh, he got a fruity drink and it had an orange slice in it, and it had those little swords, the little decor for your drink. And as I was talking to him over dinner that I really wasn't interested in a relationship, that we could be friends, he was stabbing the orange with the sword. And he kept getting more aggressive.

Japhet De Oliveira:

No.

Shelby Faria:

Yeah. Juice is flying.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's not real. Really?

Shelby Faria:

Really.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Wow.

Shelby Faria:

Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Wow, okay. You got to bring armor with you.

Shelby Faria:

It's not for the weak.

Japhet De Oliveira:

No, it's not for the weak.

Shelby Faria:

That's why I'm still single.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah. All right. All right, actually, we have time for two more. So where would you want to go? Random with your last two.

Shelby Faria:

Okay. Well, I don't have any, I'm going to pick 74.

Japhet De Oliveira:

74. All right, here we go. Oh, this is great for you, Shelby. What gives you hope?

Shelby Faria:

What gives me hope is my son, that I did something good, and now it's passed on to him because he saved an elderly man with CPR who he saw on the TV. He was at the Mahaney shooting and helped kids get to safety. That's what gives me hope. Let's be honest, I can't wait to be promoted to grandma. And so that gives me hope to see what he's like as a dad.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's beautiful. That's beautiful. All right, last number?

Shelby Faria:

Let's go 49.

Japhet De Oliveira:

49. All right, here we go. What are you currently learning about and why?

Shelby Faria:

Oh, myself.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah?

Shelby Faria:

I am on this endless journey to figure out why do I get anxious? What can I do to make me better?

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, yeah. Anxiety exists for a lot of people.

Shelby Faria:

Oh, yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira:

It's common.

Shelby Faria:

I wish I knew it was more common growing up.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yes, it's a hidden one.

Shelby Faria:

Yes. It's a doozy. It's a doozy, and I struggle with it.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, finding the triggers, finding a way to manage it.

Shelby Faria:

Yes, yes.

Japhet De Oliveira:

It's true. It's true. Good for you. Good for you.

Shelby Faria:

Thank you.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Shelby, I want to say thank you for taking the time to share, and for the honesty, good words of wisdom as well. It's encouraging to other people who may be going through something similar because it does happen. It does happen

Shelby Faria:

Unfortunately.

Japhet De Oliveira:

And I want to encourage people to do the same thing. Sit down with a friend, ask some good questions. I really believe that we are better humans for it. I'm a better human for it as well. So learning about your story was good. It'll be good for others as well. So God bless you, and thank you so much.

Shelby Faria:

Thank you, sir.

Narrator:

Thank you for joining us for the Story & Experience Podcast. We invite you to read, watch, and submit your story and experience at adventisthealth.org/story. The Story & Experience Podcast was brought to you by Adventist Health through the office of Culture.