Melinda Miers
Episode 176

Narrator: Welcome friends to another episode of the Story & Experience Podcast. Join your host Japhet De Oliveira with his guest today and discover the moments that shape us, our families, and communities.

Japhet De Oliveira: Hey, welcome friends to another episode of the Story & Experience Podcast.

 I'm glad the guest is laughing and smiling, which is a good sign that this podcast is going to go well. If you're brand new to the podcast, we have 100 questions and they progressively become more vulnerable and open as you get closer to 100. And they're about stories and experiences that shape this person into the leader that they are today.

I'm going to ask the first 10 and then I'm going to hand over to them to choose numbers where they want to go. So could you start off with... Could I start off with? Yes I can. The first question of what's your name and does anybody ever mispronounce it?

Melinda Miers: My name is Melinda Miers and yes, all the time. My married name is Miers. And that one gets mispronounced and misspelled.

Japhet De Oliveira: Misspelled, yeah.

Melinda Miers: All the time, yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: Do you correct people? Or you just...

Melinda Miers: Yeah, for the most part, I guess. I guess my first name also gets misstated a lot because people just go with Melissa, Melanie, Mindy, all those, which was my dog's name when I was little, so.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's nice.

Melinda Miers: We don't go with Mindy. Okay.

Japhet De Oliveira: Well how do you like to be called then?

Melinda Miers: Melinda, or old time friends call me Mel, but for the most part people call me Melinda.

Japhet De Oliveira: Melinda. Brilliant, Melinda, what do you do for work?

Melinda Miers: I'm in IT. Been in IT a long, long time.

Japhet De Oliveira: All righty.

Melinda Miers: Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: IT where?

Melinda Miers: Here at Adventist Health. But I started way back when for a company that was Baxter, at that point Baxter-MicroScan, Healthcare Diagnostics, way back when. My IT career started as a help desk, one person help desk.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. All right. Did you enjoy that?

Melinda Miers: Very much. Actually-

Japhet De Oliveira: Why?

Melinda Miers: Well tangibly you were on the phone, you could make the changes, you could help that person right away. You knew right away if you would help the person or not. And that always felt good.

Japhet De Oliveira: You've kept that kind of spirit in your work all the time, haven't you?

Melinda Miers: I try.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Melinda Miers: I try.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, I've heard this about you.

Melinda Miers: Some days are harder than others, but yes. Yes, I try.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's good. So what do you do in IT right now?

Melinda Miers: I am fortunate to be part of the leadership team in IT and the biggest project right now is we're working towards implementing Epic. So I support today, interoperability, the digital experience in IT. I'm going to be supporting the data conversion process for the Epic. It's just big and busy.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yes, complex.

Melinda Miers: Yes.

Japhet De Oliveira: But lots of fun.

Melinda Miers: Yes.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay, that's great. That's great. How long have you been working in IT? You said since you began your career? Your entire career has been IT?

Melinda Miers: I'm going to go back. I wound up being 60. Wait, that's how old I am. Like 31 years.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. That's great. That's great. And where were you born?

Melinda Miers: I was born in the Bay Area at Sunnyvale, Mountain View, El Camino Hospital, I know there are some people out there who know it well.

Japhet De Oliveira: Nice, nice. And did you grow up there a little bit?

Melinda Miers: I did. I did. We grew up in the Bay Area until I was about five. Then we moved overseas to Hong Kong for three years.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Melinda Miers: Lived over there.

Japhet De Oliveira: Do you speak Chinese?

Melinda Miers: I learned. I can count a little bit.

Japhet De Oliveira: Mandarin or Cantonese?

Melinda Miers: Cantonese. And had a few swear words in my vocabulary. My sisters were older so they came home with the words. And then we moved back to the Bay Area. So I grew up in Saratoga in Los Altos, in the South Bay.

Japhet De Oliveira: And then when you were growing up, what did you imagine you were going to be? Was IT or...

Melinda Miers: No.

Japhet De Oliveira: No. Okay, so...

Melinda Miers: I still tell people I don't know what I'm going to be. I married an architect who knew from the time he was 12 he wanted to be an architect. I still honestly don't have that knowledge. I think I thought I'd be a mom, I'd be doing that. I don't think I'd ever planned what I do. I've just been very fortunate with the opportunities, they've come along. They've come along and I've been very fortunate.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's great. Actually, are you an early riser or a late night owl?

Melinda Miers: Early.

Japhet De Oliveira: Early. What's early for you?

Melinda Miers: Over the years I've worked for people who were in Germany and on the East Coast, so 4:35 over the years. I have to say, as we've gotten a little older, 5:00 to 5:30 feels a little better than the 4:30. So yeah. But I'm asleep on the couch by 9:00 almost.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Melinda Miers: Any night.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. And when you get up in the morning, first of all, what actually went through your mind this morning?

Melinda Miers: Was I going to do the treadmill or do a little bit of the Pilates app?

Japhet De Oliveira: And which one did you do?

Melinda Miers: The Pilates app.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. All right, good for you. All right. And now do you have tea, coffee, liquid green smoothie? What's the first drink of the day?

Melinda Miers: Warm water, hot water.

Japhet De Oliveira: Warm water.

Melinda Miers: And then coffee.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. Like boiled in a kettle or?

Melinda Miers: The coffee?

Japhet De Oliveira: No, the warm water?

Melinda Miers: We have the electric kettle, because we're those people... Because we just... Yeah, always, that poor kettle takes a beating.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's fantastic. If people would describe your personality, would they say you were an introvert or an extrovert and would you agree?

Melinda Miers: I think extrovert, but I don't... Especially as I get older, I think describing yourself as an introvert or extrovert is where you go back to refuel. And as I get older, being still is, I need the being still to refuel. And so I think introvert is probably more accurate these days.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's interesting.

Melinda Miers: I think. I don't know if that's scientifically proven or anything.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's good. I like it. Last question in this group here, leadership question. Are you a backseat driver?

Melinda Miers: A nag, maybe.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, okay.

Melinda Miers: No, a little bit probably, but only because it's how I parent too, I guess. Probably my whole family, everybody. Yeah, probably.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Melinda Miers: So I guess helicopter parent kind of, if you want to, maybe that's a better description.

Japhet De Oliveira: Did you go to school with them or?

Melinda Miers: No, I did not. I did not. But maybe that's a little bit, helicopter boss. Is that a better way to describe it? I don't know.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. I like it. All right, the floor's open. Melinda, where would you like to go? 11 to 100.

Melinda Miers: 17.

Japhet De Oliveira: 17, all right. Oh, share what day in the entire calendar is most special to you and why?

Melinda Miers: Oh gosh. There's many days I think. I don't know if I have a one special day. Way, shoot, I'm a loser.

Japhet De Oliveira: You're welcome.

Melinda Miers: The days of families all together, when all of us, the core are together, that...

Japhet De Oliveira: That is the most special.

Melinda Miers: Yeah. And so the day changes, I can't... It's not... My poor husband, it's not my wedding. It's not birthdays, it's not a day. I can give days that have been good.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's nice. I like it. Good. All right. Where next after 17?

Melinda Miers: Oh, I have to give another number.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Melinda Miers: 23.

Japhet De Oliveira: 23. All right. Tell us about the most out... This is fantastic for you, the most outdated piece of technology that you still have and use on a regular basis.

Melinda Miers: Well we still have, I don't know if I use it on a regular, regular, we still have the VCRs at home.

Japhet De Oliveira: Really?

Melinda Miers: Uh-huh.

Japhet De Oliveira: You have tapes?

Melinda Miers: We do in the cupboard. I still have tape and a ton of CCDs. I feel like when the world ends, we're not going to have streaming and everybody's still going to need some entertainment. So I've got the CCDs and I have VHS tapes still.

Japhet De Oliveira: When the world ends, will it have electricity or...? I'm just curious as to how you're going to use them.

Melinda Miers: We will figure that one. Well no, solar. We're going to have some solar.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Melinda Miers: Maybe solar doesn't end.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. All right. Music and video. Gotcha. Where next?

Melinda Miers: 33.

Japhet De Oliveira: 33. Tell us about the best gift you've ever given someone else.

Melinda Miers: Early in our marriage, my husband, and he loved it, don't laugh, and he's not even a big golfer or anything, but I re-taped his putter.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh yeah, yeah.

Melinda Miers: Just a really cheap, I think I took it down to that Haggin Oaks or whatever and he was so excited by that. And we were early marriage poor. But it was a cool gift and he was really excited.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's pretty cool. I like that. That's great. How long have you guys been married?

Melinda Miers: 34 years coming March.

Japhet De Oliveira: Wow. Great. Congratulations.

Melinda Miers: Thank you.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's wonderful. Good. All right. Where next?

Melinda Miers: Oh, I keep forgetting I have to do that.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Melinda Miers: Oh, if I go higher it's harder.

Japhet De Oliveira: Well it's fun.

Melinda Miers: Okay, let's go 42.

Japhet De Oliveira: 42. All right. Tell us the story behind the photo on your phone. The photo of the background of your phone.

Melinda Miers: Okay. Oh, yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. All right.

Melinda Miers: It is my two kids. I have two children, a son and a daughter. We were in Vegas for my son's 21st birthday.

Japhet De Oliveira: Nice.

Melinda Miers: And they are in the picture. It's just a really cute picture of them in the hotel room, having a beverage in their hand and just smiling and happy with each other. And so it is a cool picture.

Japhet De Oliveira: Family again.

Melinda Miers: Mm-hmm.

Japhet De Oliveira: All right, it is good. All right, where next?

Melinda Miers: 47.

Japhet De Oliveira: 47. You just met someone. What would you want them to know about you and why?

Melinda Miers: That I like to think if... I don't know the why part, but did I make their day a little better? Did I have a positive impact however the little interaction might be?

Japhet De Oliveira: Do you have a lot of people in your life do that for you?

Melinda Miers: I think so. I have, yes.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yes.

Melinda Miers: Let's go, yes.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yes. Let's go, yes. Okay, great. You make everybody else's day great. And a few people do that for you as well.

Melinda Miers: No, there's probably a lot and that probably just insulted a lot of people, so now I'm going to...

Japhet De Oliveira: I'm kidding. All right. All right, good. Well where next?

Melinda Miers: Dang it. This next thing is hard. 49.

Japhet De Oliveira: 49. Oh, what are you currently learning about and why?

Melinda Miers: Oh, you know what? I really... And this is something when I finally retire, I'm excited about, all this election stuff, whichever way you go, it's so complicated. And just have time... I really tried to be more thoughtful in my voting and understanding the different initiatives this time, because you get busy over the years now that the kids are older, gone, and I'm trying to understand what I'm actually voting about.

Japhet De Oliveira: You enjoying it?

Melinda Miers: I think so. Because I felt this time around no matter which way it went and if it went my vote way or not my vote way, I felt more positive about the voting process, because I tried to learn more.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's really good. Good encouragement to everyone else. Okay. Where next?

Melinda Miers: 55.

Japhet De Oliveira: 55. All right. Ooh, share about something that frightens you.

Melinda Miers: Oh. Like scary frighten or? Oh, heights. Heights is... If I didn't throw that one out there, my husband would be heights. Absolutely heights.

Japhet De Oliveira: Heights, like ladder or?

Melinda Miers: Any heights.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, any height.

Melinda Miers: Any height. I used-

Japhet De Oliveira: Above two feet.

Melinda Miers: Yeah. When the kids were little, we were in DC in the platforms or when you go to Chicago and you've got the L platform and stuff and just that little bit of drop. And the kids were little and I was feeling they were too close. Or we were just in New York and we were with people who live there. Don't stand too close because people come and push you. But that's the different fear. But then just the heights, even first floor, full length windows looking down will give me... But I can fly fine.

Japhet De Oliveira: You can fly fine. Okay. Good. Blindfolded. Great, all right. All right, where next?

Melinda Miers: 57.

Japhet De Oliveira: 57. All right. If you had to endorse a brand, what would it be and why?

Melinda Miers: The things I like. Oh, oh, I could go... I don't know if this is earth-shattering, but Rothy's, because I'm a huge fan, it's probably... I have a lot of pairs. I'm a very big supporter. I should probably buy stock.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Melinda Miers: Okay. Of Rothy's shoes.

Japhet De Oliveira: Rothy's shoes. I was going to ask you, what are Rothy's? My bad. They're shoes.

Melinda Miers: They're shoes and they're made up of all recyclable stuff. They're washable. They do out of the plastic bottles, so they're kind of... And they're, I think rather nice looking and they don't have the... You can have flats. And I'm one to the flat stage. I used to wear the heels, but not anymore.

Japhet De Oliveira: Not anymore.

Melinda Miers: Nope.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay. All right. Good. All right, where next?

Melinda Miers: 63.

Japhet De Oliveira: 63. Oh, tell me about a time when you felt lost.

Melinda Miers: I feel lost a lot, honestly. You can feel lost... I remember years ago, it was really before maps and stuff. I flew into Pennsylvania to go to Malvern for work, and it was dark, late, and you didn't have the maps. And by myself had to pull off at some gas station. And so that, you've got that kind of lost. But there's a lot of time, am I doing the right thing? Is it the right direction? What is God pointing me to? I can be anxious, which I kind of can equate to lost, and I deal with that I think quite a bit.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. So what do you do for people who actually are a little anxious or can get lost, which actually is common.

Melinda Miers: Again, try to still, try to be present in the moment. Try to focus. So much of what it is in your head. So just to really realize that and to talk myself down. And whatever is causing this is really more about me internally and I'm just unsettled versus an outside pressure. It's a pressure I'm putting on myself. And go and refuel myself so it doesn't... It kind of calms me, I guess.

Japhet De Oliveira: Perspective.

Melinda Miers: Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. Really hard to do in the moment.

Melinda Miers: Mm-hmm.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Melinda Miers: And I do think physical exercise, like walking on the treadmill, helping you process that physically as well.

Japhet De Oliveira: Good for you. Good encouragement as well. All right, brilliant. When next? You had 63.

Melinda Miers: 66.

Japhet De Oliveira: 66. All right. Tell us about one of your favorite songs and what do you love about it?

Melinda Miers: Jimmy Buffett, pretty much anything Jimmy Buffett, I can tell you that was hard for my husband, for myself. That was a hard... You can laugh, but we went to all the concerts over the years. We had friends who we went with, we raised the kids bad, they're very functioning adults, but we raised the kids on Jimmy Buffett music. And we actually made it to his last big concert in San Diego, just thankfully. So anything, I love... His music's happy, it makes me feel good. So almost any song from him.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's fantastic. Good, good. All right, that was 66, so where next?

Melinda Miers: Oh, that's fun because... Okay. 69. I don't want to get too crazy up in the high numbers.

Japhet De Oliveira: No, dangerous. Tell us about one experience that you'd like to relive over and over and over again.

Melinda Miers: So the company I worked with when I first started was Baxter and then it went through many iterations and got bought out. So it's kind of bought out several times over and we wound up being [inaudible 00:15:39]. But it was a smaller company but global. And we were a global IT group. And it was a really wonderful... As time has gone on, I realized... I worked with people from Germany, from Italy, from Brazil, from Mexico, Japan, was so fortunate to get to know these people well and engage, and we were friends and it was really wonderful and it was really a cool environment to learn and grow and to accept others.

And that was a long time ago. And so that was a very special work environment. And once I left, I realized how special. It got bought by Siemens at some point, which went from smaller, 6,000 to a big global company, and a whole different experience. Not bad, but just different. But that was just a blessed time of my life. I still think back and probably... I love where I am today and I'm so thankful for this organization and working for faith-based is amazing. But I do, that was a special time.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. Unpack that for me, what you just said there. What's the difference between working for a faith-based company for you in your perspective and a non-faith-based company?

Melinda Miers: The ability to really talk about God, to bring God to work with me every day versus kind of having to leave him in the car. We never would, but he comes, he wouldn't be left in the car, I don't think.

Japhet De Oliveira: No, he's ever present.

Melinda Miers: But to be able to openly talk and be okay to say Merry Christmas or whatever the holiday people would like. Everybody has different things, and that's good. But to be able to bring God right in the office with me.

Japhet De Oliveira: Brilliant. All right, great. Where next? Every time you're like, what? Another number?

Melinda Miers: Another. 72.

Japhet De Oliveira: 72. Tell us about what you want to do when you retire and why you're waiting?

Melinda Miers: What was that?

Japhet De Oliveira: And why you're waiting?

Melinda Miers: Why am I waiting?

Japhet De Oliveira: To do the thing that you want to do when you retire?

Melinda Miers: Oh.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Melinda Miers: Oh, well it's very obvious. Okay. I'm probably going... How much goes on the reel?

Japhet De Oliveira: Everything.

Melinda Miers: Everything goes on.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. Isn't it great?

Melinda Miers: Yeah. So I actually am doing a little bit of counseling lately and it's wonderful. Just a little therapy to talk to somebody. And so I recommend it. I think you have to find somebody you connect with. When my parents passed in 2017, I found somebody, a lovely lady, but there was not that connection. So I'm really thankful for this person I've been talking to.

Anyway, but we've been talking about that. And we go, go, go my husband and I in the mornings we're still like we were 20 years ago when the kids were little and up and down the hallway, see, okay, bye. We don't see each other but on weekends, and we're so busy and so crazy. So to be still, to sit on the porch and have my cup of coffee in the morning with the animals, to be still and present. That's what I've been talking with the counselor. And maybe that's the first six months, maybe that's the first 16 years of retirement. I don't know. But I want to go. We'll do trips, we'll do all that kind of stuff, of course. And I want to do road trips in the suburban with the dogs.

Japhet De Oliveira: Uh-huh. Okay.

Melinda Miers: Just go.

Japhet De Oliveira: I was just going to ask you what the animals are, but they're dogs.

Melinda Miers: Mm-hmm. Oh, and I have a cat too.

Japhet De Oliveira: And you have a cat. So how many dogs, cats?

Melinda Miers: Two dogs, one cat. I got a 7-year-old goldendoodle who looks all golden and sheds. Then we have-

Japhet De Oliveira: [inaudible 00:18:58] qualify, and sheds.

Melinda Miers: And sheds. And we have an old English sheep dog who is two. He's a baby, he's a work in progress.

Japhet De Oliveira: Good luck.

Melinda Miers: Yeah, thank you. And then a 10-year-old tortoise, Myrtle the cat. She's a cat.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Melinda Miers: But she's a tortoise. She's a tortoise.

Japhet De Oliveira: She's a tortoise.

Melinda Miers: Cat. You know, tortoise shell. Tortoise shell cat.

Japhet De Oliveira: Oh, okay. Now I know. That's a [inaudible 00:19:21]. Yeah.

Melinda Miers: I can show you pictures later. They're kind of testy but they're fun.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Melinda Miers: She's a good girl.

Japhet De Oliveira: Are they slow? No.

Melinda Miers: Only Myrtle actually. Myrtle is slow. She's a little... Maybe more seal-like than turtle, if you want to look at her.

Japhet De Oliveira: All right, good. All right. Where next?

Melinda Miers: I'd also go to Carmel for a week too. I just want that noted.

Japhet De Oliveira: You want [inaudible 00:19:43].

Melinda Miers: Carmel is one of my very favorite happy places. I have a friend, we get to stay at their house at times.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's good.

Melinda Miers: Yeah. So it's wonderful.

Japhet De Oliveira: It is noted and it is in. All right.

Melinda Miers: Okay.

Japhet De Oliveira: Good.

Melinda Miers: I was going to do 76.

Japhet De Oliveira: 76, right. Tell us about where you feel the safest and why.

Melinda Miers: At home. At home. And why? Because I think I traveled so much when I worked in my early career, and just gone all the time. I was either coming or going. And to be home makes me feel good.

Japhet De Oliveira: It grounds you.

Melinda Miers: It does.

Japhet De Oliveira: Isn't that interesting?

Melinda Miers: Mm-hmm.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, that's good. Good. Love that. All right, next number.

Melinda Miers: And I used to... Hold on, I've got to go back to my other answer. I don't know if I'm breaking the rules.

Japhet De Oliveira: No, you're not.

Melinda Miers: But also I used to... My parents, they didn't stay in the same house I grew up in, but every time I went to visit my parents, I felt safe there too. It was kind of interesting. And so I don't know if I'm giving that to my kids yet today, but even as I had kids and my family-

Japhet De Oliveira: You had a great relationship with your parents?

Melinda Miers: Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: And both passed in 2017?

Melinda Miers: Yeah, they passed about seven months apart. So it was a tough year.

Japhet De Oliveira: That is a tough year. Yeah. It's tough when you lose incredible people. Yeah.

Melinda Miers: They're important. But anyway, to give that kind of feeling to the kids too, that you're safe, when you're talking safe. I always felt safe. I could hide away from the world, I guess maybe, is that safe?

Japhet De Oliveira: See, isn't great. Yeah, it is. That's exactly it. A place to anchor.

Melinda Miers: Mm-hmm.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. Place to go for anything, relax and be.

Melinda Miers: Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. Love that. Good. All right. Where next? Yeah. Surprise.

Melinda Miers: Surprise. What was my last number? I can't remember now.

Japhet De Oliveira: 76.

Melinda Miers: Oh, okay.

Japhet De Oliveira: You were like 76.

Melinda Miers: Yeah. I don't want to have to get that close. 77

Japhet De Oliveira: Share one... Okay. Oh, whatever. Share one of the most cup-filling experiences you've ever had.

Melinda Miers: Okay. I'm going to go to Carmel, and it's not a single experience but it is over time. So my girlfriend who has the place, I've known her since I was eight. And then we have a group of girlfriends who we've known for a long, long time. Some since I was 12, but then that's like the shortest, since I was 12.

And so when we get together and we go down there and you park the cars, you don't go anywhere, you walk to town, you walk on the beach, nothing better. And they know you, you're not faking it. They know you. They're just-

Japhet De Oliveira: You're just local.

Melinda Miers: And they love every wart. No, the girlfriends, they know me.

Japhet De Oliveira: Okay.

Melinda Miers: And they know every wart and you can just be you.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's magical.

Melinda Miers: Mm-hmm.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. All right. So people have always dreamed of having... People have, I've heard, and I know people will love to have relationships that they could say, oh, I've known since I was a kid. What did it take to keep that kind of relationship going? How did you make that happen?

Melinda Miers: It's weird. I would say we've all... And you go in and out, because either you're having children or your jobs or whatever. And obviously it was probably a little harder when we were younger because we didn't have the technology, but we just always got open arms when we come back. Because somebody is always going to be, either it's too busy with work or they're struggling with something at home. But we always come back and the cool thing is we've been able to get our families together too. So it's not just about us.

And I think that's been a bit of a secret. If you can get the spouses to get along, if the kids kind of all have fun together and they've been raised together camping, whatever, we've done tons of camping trips with one of our friends. I think getting the families also engaged helps to keep that relationship strong. Because you're changing, you're not just that kid in high school or that kid in elementary school, you're sharing your whole life with them, not just the early stages or something.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's really good. Good. Good word. Good word. All right, where next?

Melinda Miers: 82.

Japhet De Oliveira: 82. All right. If you could only keep three possessions, what would they be and why?

Melinda Miers: Possessions.

Japhet De Oliveira: Uh-huh. Yeah.

Melinda Miers: Possessions aren't important, right? If I really have to sit here and go, I'm thinking I have my mom's wedding ring, but if I lost that, it doesn't make me lose my mom's memory.

Japhet De Oliveira: Exactly.

Melinda Miers: I wear this. We lost a very close friend, I'm still wearing it. And he passed away in March of '23.

Japhet De Oliveira: I'm sorry.

Melinda Miers: Thank you. It's the people, it's not things.

Japhet De Oliveira: Isn't it?

Melinda Miers: Yeah. And my animals, I tell you, it kills me whenever I lose one. Because they're all special and different. But I don't think... I probably could have given you my favorite bag, purse or something. Probably even 10 years ago I might've given you that answer, but now-

Japhet De Oliveira: No, no.

Melinda Miers: It's no. It's not things.

Japhet De Oliveira: I appreciate that. It's good. All right, good. That was 82. Where next, Melinda?

Melinda Miers: 85.

Japhet De Oliveira: 85. Whoa. All right, here, this is fun for you. Describe a role model you aspire to be like.

Melinda Miers: I'm going to go with a work role model and right now it's current.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Melinda Miers: She'll probably kill me, Adrienne McReynolds, because she-

Japhet De Oliveira: Pretty exceptional.

Melinda Miers: She is, she's amazing. And what I enjoy, I feel like she brings this professional calm, so thoughtful in her approach, always... It's just I think... And from a professional perspective she nails it in any setting, no matter what might be under the surface, she's nailing it. And I'm very impressed with that. I feel like I probably wear too much out here. And so I very much respect how she operates and her knowledge.

Japhet De Oliveira: That's great. I think she'll enjoy hearing that. It's lovely. She'll be embarrassed, but she'll be like, yeah, that's good. All right, where next?

Melinda Miers: Now how many more do we have? How long do I have to go?

Japhet De Oliveira: You're doing fine. You're doing great.

Melinda Miers: Okay. 87.

Japhet De Oliveira: 87. When you're under incredible stress, what helps to ground you?

Melinda Miers: Back to being still, stepping away. I have to be still. I can't... In your old days you say you can do four things at one time and multitask, you can't. And I think that adds to stress these days. And so to stop, to focus on the one thing, to clean up what's around you.

Japhet De Oliveira: And do it well.

Melinda Miers: Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: Break it down.

Melinda Miers: Mm-hmm.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, I'm with you. Time for two more.

Melinda Miers: Okay.

Japhet De Oliveira: Wow, look at that. The joy on her face. Her eyes just lit up like, wow, two more.

Melinda Miers: Two more.

Japhet De Oliveira: Where're we going to go?

Melinda Miers: Okay. All right, we'll go to 90.

Japhet De Oliveira: 90. All right. Tell us about how you overcame a seemingly insurmountable obstacle.

Melinda Miers: I guess in 2017, hard year, not only did my parents pass, but my husband had open heart surgery.

Japhet De Oliveira: Wow. Okay.

Melinda Miers: Genetic thing, he's great. He's great now, right. But it was a big year.

Japhet De Oliveira: Sure.

Melinda Miers: It was a surprise. But it was funny because that year was so much, and it was a hard year. And coming out of that, I look back and how did I survive it? The man who had open heart surgery was my rock. And that year... I think I've been his rock sometimes too. But that year he was definitely mine. Maybe not, he might tell you I'm not. But nothing back to the same thing, of what possessions.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Melinda Miers: I don't know if I've come across anything that's... It may be insurmountable for a day, I'm just overwhelmed and struggling. But I don't know if I've ever felt... And I guess I'm fortunate, whether it's family, friends or God, I don't feel alone. So I don't think I've ever really stayed in that place to think of something as insurmountable, because you've got to keep going.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, that's beautiful. I love that. I love that. Really good testimony. I appreciate that. All right, last one. Where do you want to go for your last number?

Melinda Miers: 99.

Japhet De Oliveira: 99. Oh, okay. What's the most difficult truth you've ever told?

Melinda Miers: Probably struggling through when my husband and I were struggling with issues, and trying to address those openly and honestly, I would say. And here we are, almost 34 years of marriage.

Japhet De Oliveira: Exactly. That's what makes it.

Melinda Miers: Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira: Right.

Melinda Miers: But forcing yourself to have the conversations.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah.

Melinda Miers: You know, because you could go along and just-

Japhet De Oliveira: Ignore it.

Melinda Miers: Ignore it and we wound up not. And I think that's probably the toughest, and I'm thankful. A lot of times you think about it at this point in my life, is we are looking towards retirement. It's like, yay, we're in it together. We're still here together. We're stronger and we like each other, I think, more than we did day one, and looking forward to it. I'm not feeling like we're going to kill each other in retirement. Don't just quote that all by itself, that sounds terrible. But yeah, that was probably the toughest, but it was worth to work through.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah, that's beautiful. I'm going to ask you a question that's not on the list. You've gone through a lot lately, with the loss of your parents, loss of friends that you have on your wrist there. When you think about your life, how do you want people to remember you?

Melinda Miers: That I did some good, that I... I'm not going to be the person anybody says, oh, look at that amazing accomplishment or something. Look at that building they built or something. I'm not that person.

Japhet De Oliveira: No. Your husband's the architect.

Melinda Miers: Yeah, he's the architect. Or stood up a charity or whatever. That's not me. But I did make them feel better. Will the kids when they think of me, will they think of me like I think of my parents, and feel missed. I don't want them missing me and being all sad, but will they feel like I did okay by them and the friends and stuff. But yeah, that's more just that people thought I was a help.

Japhet De Oliveira: Yeah. Melinda, thank you so much for sharing.

Melinda Miers: Okay. You're welcome.

Japhet De Oliveira: It's beautiful. That's beautiful. Look, I encourage people, when they listen to your episode, I hope they do think about that as well. The value of people, the most important thing we have in our life. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you for sharing that. I want to encourage people to do the same, sit with a friend, ask good questions. We learn and we are changed for it. So I believe that. God bless you and God bless all the listeners and we'll connect again soon. Thank you.

Melinda Miers: Thank you.

Narrator: Thank you for joining us for the Story & Experience Podcast. We invite you to read, watch, and submit your story and experience@adventisthealth.org/story. The Story & Experience Podcast was brought to you by Adventist Health for the Office of Culture.