Leighton Darby

Narrator:

Welcome friends, to another episode of The Story & Experience Podcast. Join your host, Japhet De Oliveira, with his guest today and discover the moments that shape us, our families and communities.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Well, welcome friends, to another episode of The Story & Experience Podcast. Our friend's laughing already, and we're just about to begin. For everybody who's brand new, you don't even know what's going to begin, but for everybody who's a regular, you know exactly what's going to happen here. I'm going to ask the guest their name, and we're going to dive into the hundred questions. The first 10, of course, are really easy. 11 to a hundred, it just gets harder and harder. For everybody who's already been on this journey with us, just grab your cup of tea, sit back, enjoy the conversation. That's what we're going to do right now. And we are going to have a moment of hearing some stories and experiences that shaped this particular guest. It's very late at night for them in Australia, and very early here in the United States. And so let's just dive straight in. Let's begin with question number one. What's your name? And does anybody mispronounce it or not get it?

Leighton Darby:

Hey, J. It is Leighton Darby you're speaking to. And look, occasionally, some people have been known to call me Leighton Barbie. That can get a little awkward, but usually we fix that up pretty quick. But look, all in all, Darby is a fairly straightforward name. Leighton, little bit hard to get your mouth around, but no one does too bad a job.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Leighton's fantastic. I'm all in favor of that, and it's all good. Brilliant. We can do that. All right. Leighton, what do you do for work at the moment?

Leighton Darby:

Currently I am actually back building and getting my hands dirty each day, and creating things and the like. So I have spent a little bit of time in my past life, more in a management kind of role, still related to building, but I've kind of needed to get my hands dirty and also start creating things again. I was feeling the need, so that's what I'm currently doing.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's beautiful. That's beautiful. And so how long have you been doing this transition now back to building?

Leighton Darby:

I think it's about three and a half years, maybe coming up to four years.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Wow.

Leighton Darby:

So my last phase was about 14 years in building management, basically building homes and dealing with clients. And really we weren't building homes. We were just dealing with people, bringing them on the journey of their home. But anyway, really enjoying what we're doing at the moment. I don't think I've landed exactly where I'm supposed to be, but I think we're getting close.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's great. That's great. That's beautiful. So I know it's late at night, but go back to early morning. What is your drink of choice in the morning? Do you start off with water? Do you start off with one of those green liquid smoothies, coffee, tea? What kind?

Leighton Darby:

Look. No, definitely easy one for me to answer this one. It's black filter coffee, straight up.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Oh, yeah?

Leighton Darby:

While I'm drinking it, I am thinking, "I probably should be drinking a cup of water first," but I normally get that in a little bit later.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's good. That's good. That's good.

Leighton Darby:

Straight from the Moccamaster.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's beautiful. Leighton, tell me, where were you born?

Leighton Darby:

So I was born in Newcastle, Australia. That's my hometown. The Marter Hospital, that's what it was.

Japhet De Oliveira:

And I was going to ask you if you've ever been back there, but you still live in Newcastle.

Leighton Darby:

Look, I do, but I actually have never been back to the Marter Hospital, to be bluntly honest.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Oh, OK. All right. All right.

Leighton Darby:

They built another new hospital that's really nice. And I tend to kind of visit that one when I need to. I've been here all my life. It's a nice space. It's a nice town. Look, there's a lot of nice places to live-

Japhet De Oliveira:

It is beautiful.

Leighton Darby:

... I suppose you just got to try and find one, haven't you?

Japhet De Oliveira:

No, no. Hey, I love your town. Love the space. It's beautiful. And it is fantastic town, really.

Leighton Darby:

Oh, it really is.

Japhet De Oliveira:

So when you were a kid, what did you imagine you were going to be?

Leighton Darby:

When I was a young boy, I actually wanted to be a greens person, someone that rolls the cricket pitch and prepares it and also makes the golf greens. I was fairly obsessed with that. I actually had a cricket pitch in my backyard. I would mow different parts. You know how at Lord's they have the grass in all kind of patterns and stuff?

Japhet De Oliveira:

The crisscross? Ah, the lines.

Leighton Darby:

I had that in my backyard. And we had two and a half acres, and that's what I thought I was destined to do. Later on, I was like, "Hmm." I kind of found out that you had to get up really, really early and just work on the weekend. And I'm like, "Oh geez. That would be bad." I mean, and when you're 15, you're like, "I not want to get up early." So anyway, it probably would've actually suited me quite well now, because I... So first up, that's what I wanted to do. And then it kind of moved into more, I think it was pretty clear that I needed to work with my hands and be outside, and that's what I ended doing. So I actually ended up doing my apprenticeship with my father. So I've actually worked with my father for probably half of my working life.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Oh, that's beautiful. Wow, that's fantastic. So talking about early morning, talking about habits as well, are you one of those early risers or a night owl?

Leighton Darby:

Yeah, definitely an early riser. Love getting up early. I love that part of the day. It's a special part of the day. Isn't it? You get to process things. I love getting on the road to the job site even early. Uh, it's great. I love it.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah. I'm with you on that. There's something beautiful about the early morning. It's really good.

Leighton Darby:

Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira:

It's good. So this morning when you woke up, what was the first thought that came across your mind? And I know it was a long time ago.

Leighton Darby:

Well, look, you know what it was? I actually thought to myself, "I've got to stay up late tonight." So I'm actually going to sleep in another hour because I'm going to need it on the other end. So I was like, "I'm got to talk to J late tonight." So yeah, to be honest-

Japhet De Oliveira:

I appreciate that.

Leighton Darby:

I actually, I woke up at four and I was like, "Hmm, no. Hopefully, Jo, you can go. I'm going to stay here for another hour. I'm up late tonight." So that was the first thing on my mind this morning, which was you.

Japhet De Oliveira:

You're welcome. You're welcome.

Leighton Darby:

You were on my mind first thing this morning. Not every morning, but I mean, this morning.

Japhet De Oliveira:

I hear you. Hey, if people were to describe you, Leighton, would they describe you as an introvert or an extrovert, and would you agree?

Leighton Darby:

That's a really interesting one. I kind of get really confused with that with myself. I think definitely people would call me... I think people would call me an extrovert, but I do find myself being re-energized when I'm actually just by myself. And quite often, if I'm in a large social situation, I'm probably more comfortable standing in the corner, having a deep conversation with somebody rather than be the main one up the front or something like that. So maybe I'm a bit of both. I do enjoy people. I do enjoy the elements and bringing people together, but look, bit of both for me, I think.

Japhet De Oliveira:

And I think actually that's one of your gifts, as well, of being able to bring people together. And also, which is a secret that everybody should know, is that Leighton does know how to brew the most amazing ginger beer. I mean, I love ginger beer, but he knows how to make it raw from the original ingredients. And I'm pretty sure he made an entire vat. It was like a tank, a tanker. I mean, he doesn't do anything at a very small scale. It would probably take a truck to be able to cart it around. It's for the community, right?

Leighton Darby:

It is for the community. That's right.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's exactly it. I love what you do. It's one of your gifts.

Leighton Darby:

Yeah. Look, it is really nice. I mean, if you're going to do something, you might as well share it. Hey.

Japhet De Oliveira:

No, no. I think that's what you actually do all the time. You do things for others all the time, which is beautiful. Let's talk about leadership here. Are you are a backseat driver?

Leighton Darby:

Look, I don't think I am, no. And this is a hard one because I mean, if I'm feeling comfortable with the direction that we're going in and people have caught the vision, at least in terms of what I think it is. I mean, who knows?

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah.

Leighton Darby:

I could be way off, but I'm happy to really just kind of see them go for it. I'm not really interested in kind of telling them how to do it at all, until it's kind of like, "I think we're a little bit off here. Maybe we could go this way." But I think if we are going to do that, we're going to do it with a nice conversation. We're going to kind of like, we're in this for the long haul. We're not going to fix this problem today. We're going to journey with moving back in this direction. Anyway, I don't know if that answers.

Japhet De Oliveira:

When people are building around you every day, do you feel like they know what they're doing?

Leighton Darby:

I sometimes don't think I know what I'm doing. No. Look, yes and no. I mean, that is a really hard question.

Japhet De Oliveira:

I wasn't going to question 100 yet.

Leighton Darby:

Yeah. That actually digs deep into my soul, to be honest, that question. Because I really do feel as though that we have actually... So many people have lost the art of actually caring and being proud of what they actually do. Whether it's laying a brick or laying tiles or whatever that may be. A lot of things go unseen, but I don't know. I just kind of feel as though it just needs to be done right. And you can walk away being proud of what you've done and knowing that you've given somebody something good, and it's going to last.

Japhet De Oliveira:

I think that's the other element of who you are as well. It's that you bring so much character and depth to what you do, that everything that you touch and everything that you're part of, including the building, it's exceptional. And so I'm excited to hear that as well. All right. We have touched on the first easy ones. Right? So now-

Leighton Darby:

Sure, that seemed pretty easy.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Now we open it up and it's yours, and you get to pick a number between 11 and a hundred. And a hundred obviously is the hardest and it progressively gets that way. And so where would you like to begin, my friend?

Leighton Darby:

OK. Let's go. Oh, look, let's go 37. Not quite sure why.

Japhet De Oliveira:

All right. 37 it is. What do you like most about your family?

Leighton Darby:

Good question. Ah, look, I really do love my family.

Japhet De Oliveira:

I know.

Leighton Darby:

I think they compliment me well. That's probably one thing I like about them. We're certainly not all the same. I love that they're up for adventures. I love that they're happy to be part of some of my crazy ideas. And look, they actually make me a better person.

Japhet De Oliveira:

When you say crazy ideas, you're not crazy like Mosquito Coast kind of crazy, where you're like, "Hey, let's just go do something and I have an idea," and they're all like, "Oh no, dad's going to do this." Not that kind of crazy, right?

Leighton Darby:

No, look, no.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Oh, OK. All right. Just clarifying. All right.

Leighton Darby:

No, just things like, let's go and camp in a tent for four months-

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yes, OK.

Leighton Darby:

And let's go into the middle of nowhere. Let's actually create something that's going to be a lot of hard work, but it's going to bring people together, and you are going to have to stay up late, or I'm going to get you to write something for it. Or my kids are putting out chairs. Or let's get to church two hours before everybody else so we can make great coffee.

Japhet De Oliveira:

I love this. This is the unpacking of who Leighton really is. It's like, now he's starting... Now you're starting to... At the beginning, you're like, "So he's a builder. And he gets up really early in the morning." Oh, you have not understood who Leighton is.

Leighton Darby:

Yeah, that's true.

Japhet De Oliveira:

The marvel of Leighton.

Leighton Darby:

I am very misunderstood. Let me tell you.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Oh, man.

Leighton Darby:

Most builders are, to be honest, but anyway.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Love it. Love it. All right. Where you want to go off to 37?

Leighton Darby:

Oh, right. Yeah. I almost forgot. 53.

Japhet De Oliveira:

53, all right. Can you tell us about at least one important person in your life?

Leighton Darby:

Look, I'm going to go for my grandmother. She's not around anymore. She's passed away, but she was probably the most influential person in my life, particularly spiritually. I mean, she was somebody that journeyed with me, listened and read the Bible to me when I was a young boy laying in my bed every Friday night. She was a great listener. She was an amazing prayer. I still believe that I'm living on the prayers of my grandmother.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's beautiful.

Leighton Darby:

She was an amazing person and she got to live a really long life. What was she? She was almost 101, I think. I mean, she got a letter from the queen.

Japhet De Oliveira:

I was going to say, did she get a letter from the queen?

Leighton Darby:

She got a letter from the queen.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's great. Oh, oh. Ah, bless.

Leighton Darby:

I mean, I know you would appreciate that.

Japhet De Oliveira:

I would. I did.

Leighton Darby:

Yeah, my grandmother. And that's my mother's mother.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Beautiful.

Leighton Darby:

She was an amazing person.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Hey, honoring the people who have shaped us, it's great. It's beautiful. Love that. OK. Where do you want to go next, up or down?

Leighton Darby:

Let's go to 27.

Japhet De Oliveira:

27, all right. 27. Bring us into your kitchen for a special meal. What would you be making?

Leighton Darby:

Well, lucky you didn't ask Jo because she'd be like, "Oh, he just is not making enough dinners at the moment." I'm going to choose, I'm making you kimchi, kimchi.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Oh, yeah?

Leighton Darby:

Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Over a month?

Leighton Darby:

Oh, yeah. Well, look, we would have to have it as a little side with something else. I'm actually going kimchi. I just love it.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Beautiful.

Leighton Darby:

It's just amazing. Like I can't get enough of it.

Japhet De Oliveira:

It is, it is. I'm with you, I'm with you. With my kids, it's one of the elements. We have a great meal every time they finish the school year. No, I'm with you. Beautiful.

Leighton Darby:

Well, and the great thing is, is that it turns a pretty bland ordinary meal into something like, "Oh, that was amazing." Like I had a bit of bread and a bit of avocado or something. And then all of a sudden, a bit of kimchi's on the side or on the top of it, and you're just like, "Oh, my goodness. We're in heaven."

Japhet De Oliveira:

Oh, I love that. That's great. Good, good. OK. Where do you want to go next?

Leighton Darby:

73.

Japhet De Oliveira:

73, all right. Brilliant. Let's go there. Share something that you've had to unlearn in your life.

Leighton Darby:

Well, there's so many things. There's so many things. Which one do I choose? You've got me here. I've gone up high, and now you've got me really thinking. Unlearn... You know what? I think, something that's actually just kind of coming to my mind is, is that throughout my life, I've tried to become a better listener. And when I've just kind of been thinking to myself when I walk away from a conversation, "Have I just spoken all about myself, or have I actually just listened to the person's journey? Or have I asked them questions?" So I think probably a little bit younger in my life, I was happy to fill the void with my conversation, probably making myself feel a little bit better than actually the other person. So I think that's an intentional thing that I've had to kind of unlearn. I don't know if I do it very well, but I wish I did it better, but I'm trying. So that's it.

Japhet De Oliveira:

I actually, I think you do exceptional at that. And that may be one of the things that's actually why people gravitate towards you and why you build such a great community as well. So well done. And well done for recognizing that.

Leighton Darby:

Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's good.

Leighton Darby:

OK. What are we going to go to next?

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah. Where?

Leighton Darby:

That was tough, but I think I'm going to push on to 81.

Japhet De Oliveira:

81, all right. What is something you've given your absolute best effort towards, and why was it important?

Leighton Darby:

Something that comes to mind, which is something that I created a couple of years ago when I actually transitioned out of my former more management work into making things. I made a Windsor chair. I went away and made a Windsor chair down in Melbourne. The day after I left my job, I was like, "Got to go and do something and I want to transition." And so I spent a week just making this chair, steam bending, working green wood. And I'm really, really proud of it. I'm really-

Japhet De Oliveira:

Describe what is a Windsor chair?

Leighton Darby:

Well, a Windsor chair is... well.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Well, yes.

Leighton Darby:

Well, how long do we have?

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, I know.

Leighton Darby:

Well, essentially the best way to describe it is, is that the seat actually, like the leg at the back actually transitions into the seat. So you've got a transition point. You don't have a leg that continues up, up, up, kind of like the back. So there's many kind of forms of Windsor chairs, originated in England, the Americans kind of refined it. There's many forms. The one that I built was from Hendersonville in the US. It was a replica of one of them, just out of Tennessee. So that was a really lovely time. We spent some time with a gentleman from Tennessee. He bought his chair and we made his chair, the first time it's ever been made in Australia.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Wow.

Leighton Darby:

Yeah, that was really nice. And it's just working with hand tools, no power tools. All just going back to using your own hands. And that was a really nice moment. That's something and then... There's been some other kind of more community kind of things that probably I'm pretty proud of, of involvement. There's a whole bunch of different sides of my life, but I'm pretty proud of that chair.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's good. That's good. That's beautiful. Thanks. Thanks for explaining that as well. That's beautiful. All right. Where do you want to go next?

Leighton Darby:

59.

Japhet De Oliveira:

59, all right, here we go. In your opinion, what subject would add to school curriculum? What age would it be for?

Leighton Darby:

Oh, spoon carving.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Spoon...

Leighton Darby:

I'm not joking.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Spoon carve... OK. I know. That's what I'm worried about. Spoon carving.

Leighton Darby:

Oh, that's so funny. Let's get it... That's all that needs to be said. Look, honestly, we would learn so much. Astrology as well. I was looking at the lunar eclipse tonight, and I was just thinking to myself, "My goodness. I should know more about these stars." But anyway. No look, honestly, I'm not joking when I say that. I'm actually dead serious.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Spoon carving, all right.

Leighton Darby:

If everybody carved a spoon, we'd probably solve the whole world's problems. Let's just be honest, the spoon revolution.

Japhet De Oliveira:

All right. All right. Love it. Good. What number next? I mean, that's just brilliant. I want to say so much about it, but I'm resisting.

Leighton Darby:

You're resisting. I know you are. And I want to say so much more about it as well, but I'm resisting. Let's move on. Let's... 92.

Japhet De Oliveira:

92, all right. Leighton, how would you like to be remembered?

Leighton Darby:

I think I'd like to be remembered as somebody that had empathy, someone that cared. Someone that created peace. Empathy, caring. That's what I'd like to be remembered for.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's nice. It's good. It's good.

Leighton Darby:

That's a hard question, isn't it?

Japhet De Oliveira:

It is.

Leighton Darby:

Because you've got to think about what you're actually doing in your life now. And what we're doing today actually is going to create that story, isn't it?

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yes. You should shape that. Yeah, that's true. We're more than a paragraph in a paper.

Leighton Darby:

Yeah, totally. Where are we going to go next, J?

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yes. Where do you want to go next? You have time. You have to time for two more.

Leighton Darby:

OK, 95.

Japhet De Oliveira:

95, all right. Tell us about how you see your faith and your life intersecting.

Leighton Darby:

Oh, look, I just feel as though that it... I wish in a way it didn't intersect. I wish it was actually all one, and some days it is. And some days it's not.

Japhet De Oliveira:

That's fair.

Leighton Darby:

Look, the older that I get, I just have become more inquisitive, more in awe of Jesus. And it continues to actually really rock my world and rock the work that I'm involved in or the other moments in the day of where you're at. And it's hard to sometimes be in those spaces. You've really got to think. You've really got to stop and listen to what you're actually saying, and that's why I reflect back onto what I was saying before. I wish it wasn't actually an intersection. I wish it was just all, everything, all faith.

Japhet De Oliveira:

I like it.

Leighton Darby:

I'm not quite sure I've actually explained myself very well there, but that's probably a character trait of myself.

Japhet De Oliveira:

I actually think that that's a really beautiful response because it would be nice to not have it intersect. It would be nice to have it blended. I understand. I understand what you're saying. There's a strength of the paint when it's actually one new color. Yeah. I understand what you're saying. That's beautiful. Thanks. Thanks for taking the question to a new space. I like that. That's good. All right. Last number.

Leighton Darby:

Last number. Let's do, I'm feeling like a 79.

Japhet De Oliveira:

79, all right, here we go. Leighton, can you share a painful memory you wish you could forget?

Leighton Darby:

Ooh, wow. 79. Why did I pick 79?

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, I know.

Leighton Darby:

That's a hard... Let me reflect on that just for a minute.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, please.

Leighton Darby:

I think probably a family member's marriage that dissolved through some really unfair circumstances, and being on the sideline, cheering them on. That doesn't sound right, does it? But I kind of was a being the support. I wish I didn't have to think... I mean, it's probably a lot easier for me, but I wish I didn't have to think about that again. Or think about what people had to go through. That's probably one that I think about fairly regularly, to be honest.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Well, and the truth is that... And thank you for sharing that, Leighton. I think that those are things that all of us experience, in the sense that we have painful memories that we wish we could forget, but they maybe help us to be a different person. They open our empathy.

Leighton Darby:

Yeah, definitely, definitely. Yeah. I certainly think so. That's a good question. Number 79, people. That's a good one.

Japhet De Oliveira:

It is. It is. It is. Hey, look, I'm sorry, our time is up. It's beautiful to hear your voice. I get to see you, but.

Leighton Darby:

I mean, I've just got started. I mean, really, you've got me now. After 11 o'clock, the filter starts to go down, and I start to kind of really get a little bit looser, but anyway, that's probably a good thing that we're stopping.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah, I hear you. I hear you. Hey, thank you for your time, Leighton. Thank you for sharing the stories and experiences that actually just a snippet of what shaped you into, I think, a phenomenal community leader, a man of character in both your vocation and in your life. I think you've worked out a way to kind of blend those really well, seamlessly, all the time. And I want to encourage people, look, if you're ever in Newcastle, you've got to go to his faith community, the Well. Try it out.

Leighton Darby:

Check it out.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Connect with him.

Leighton Darby:

Come and grab a coffee.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Yeah. That alone, that alone. But no, really appreciate it. Really appreciate it, brother. It's beautiful.

Leighton Darby:

Thank you, J.

Japhet De Oliveira:

Really wonderful.

Leighton Darby:

You've been a big part of it as well, so thanks very much. And want to encourage you in your storytelling. And I tell you what, it's a good thing. Isn't it?

Japhet De Oliveira:

It is. It is. And I want to encourage actually all of our listeners to do the same, connect with your friends, share your stories and experiences, because honestly, it's life transforming to yourself and to others. You will continue to grow.

Leighton Darby:

Yeah.

Japhet De Oliveira:

God bless, look after each other, and we'll connect another time.

Leighton Darby:

Thank you.

Narrator:

Thank you for joining us for The Story & Experience Podcast. We invite you to read, watch and submit your story and experience at adventisthealth.org/story. The Story & Experience Podcast was brought to you by Adventist Health, through the Office of Culture.